I'm beginning to think this Andromeda bitch is nothing but trouble
This better be worth it. Oh
BOOMIES!
That's all Brad needs. Booby's in a child's sacrifice. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's it. Oh, it's full nudity. Look at this.
Little fish swims out in the hole.
Just back in the hole.
Man, I gotta do it backwards. Shit.
Because he needed Perseus to learn a lesson.
That's what everybody else did.
Okay, welcome back to Does It Hold Up, the podcast dedicated to potentially ruining your childhood
and all of your fun memories that happened before Mom and Dad got divorced.
I guess it could be Mom and Mom.
Like Dad and Dad.
Yeah.
My two dads was a show back before we were kids.
We're all inclusive.
That's true, it was. I forgot about that.
I did forget about that.
Yeah.
Well, I guess we can do introductions. I'm Brad.
I'm Brock.
Hi, I'm Amanda.
So guys, what did we want today?
Today was the, what year was this released again?
It was filmed in '79. It was released in '81.
It was a 1981 classic clash of the Titans that doesn't have any Titans in it.
But it does have child sacrifice and boobies. We're back, baby.
We're back.
We have gone full circle. We are back to, back to where we all started. Yeah.
Back to the boobies.
Two shots of boobies. In the beginning and the end, it's really bookends the whole movie.
It's great.
I was pleasantly surprised. I forgot about the one at the end.
And this, this is actually one of these master because there was boobies and ass.
Oh, you did have the ass.
I did. That was really creepy. Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, that was a little weird.
I was thinking logistic logistically. How did they film that scene?
They're like, okay, grown woman, get totally naked with this little boy and walked,
and he's going to be totally naked and you're going to walk down the beach together.
I wonder if they're related.
Yeah, I wonder if it was like a mother and son.
Yeah, let me look that up while you guys talk.
God, I really hope so.
Yeah.
Fuck, who knows?
A lot of cocaine is going around. Who knows? Jesus.
That's true.
So yeah, this is a, this is a movie that all three of us remember watching his kids.
A pretty memorable movie, I think, in a lot of ways between just the story and the music,
especially for me.
Yeah.
The music is still really, really good.
And I mean, the special effects, which are, you know, 1980s.
Stop motion, Ray Harryhausen effects.
So for the time, not terrible.
I have a saying.
I still see CGI stuff.
Yeah.
I was still entertained.
Right.
It's a little hard now in HD to watch.
It's a little, and I watched it downstairs in my basement where I have a, you know, projector.
And it's a little tough.
It's a little.
So that act was like four feet tall.
Yeah, it was, I mean, yeah, I mean, it was life size.
Yeah.
So, but now it was a little, I mean, I put out, you know, you got to give it the time.
I'm not going to knock it necessarily for that.
Right.
It was a, it still am.
I don't know.
The acting overall, though.
Yeah.
As a kid, I don't think I noticed the acting necessarily.
I mean, these are not with the exception of a few throwaway bits with Lawrence Olivier and some other really well known, you know, older actors.
Just not like high caliber talent, really.
Harry, what's his name? Harry Hamill, or who's Perseus in the main. Yeah.
Hamlin.
He is.
Is it Hamlin, Ham, Hamill? I don't know.
He was on LA law. That's all I know.
That's, that's about the, it's primetime soap opera.
Yeah.
That's about the quality you got.
Yeah.
Was it to be not movie star? Like, I don't know.
It wasn't.
But they got, they got most of those Shakespearean actors to play.
The gods and gods because they had to be more refined.
Maggie, Maggie Smith's husband at the time.
Wrote the stream play. Really?
And because she had done so much Shakespeare.
I think I'm getting this right.
Was able to appeal to like Sir Lawrence Olivier and a bunch of other people that were playing.
Yeah.
No, it was more like this was Maggie Smith's partner's pet project.
Okay.
There's a, there's a, there's a brand that.
For those of you playing along at home, Aggie Smith is McGonigal from the Harry Potter movies.
Who's name is Morgan, who was a goddess.
Also the, the, uh, the grandmother on Downton Abbey, if anybody watched that.
Okay, there we go.
For all you kids out there.
Don't know what the hell we're talking about.
Yeah, maybe from 2010.
No, this is the original clash of the Titans.
Yeah. So Maggie Smith plays.
Who in this room?
The really ventilator.
Sorry.
But the name Minerva.
Is the Roman goddess of wisdom.
And that's who she plays in Harry Potter.
But yeah, just a disclaimer for all of you playing along at home.
I'm going to stumble through a lot of this crap.
So, uh, you can do better fine, but.
Anybody trying at home should do a search of all of Zeus's people that he's had sex with.
And try and find a family tree. It's insane.
It's like looking at.
Zeus is basically just a fucking asshole.
He's like, yeah, this movie wasn't, this movie wouldn't be a movie if Zeus wasn't such a bastard.
I mean, to be honest, it's a fucking bastard.
Yeah, the whole movie, the whole, the whole reason that everything happens is because he decides to turn this one kind of shitty kid into a horrible beast.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We could go to the beginning, right? The very first scene.
Is this is where we have child sacrifice. I feel like we need, you know, like our scorecard and like child sacrifice thing right off the bat, you know.
That's true. Very good. So, or technically, I guess it's not child sorry. It was an attempted child sacrifice, but yeah, but I guess in Beastmaster, we had one, one win and one attempted.
So, I mean, you know, who knows how much, how much it was happening before the movie started. I mean, it seemed like it was just a thing like, yeah, we're just going to do it.
So, so, yeah, he goes. So the movie starts. They're in.
And I read the summary. I read read the beginning part so we can then, well, I can mess up all these games. So, yeah, he starts off with King.
A chrisius of Argus. In prison.
Tonight, tonight, doesn't matter. Says here he's jealous of her beauty. Yeah, nobody else can see.
Okay, so they mentioned that Zeus comes to her.
Right, because that's what he does. He goes and just impregnates anything that he can get his hands on. A chrisius banishes his daughter and his newborn grandson Perseus to see in a wooden chest.
Okay, yeah. Isn't Zeus.
Mary.
Okay, okay, that's even creepier, but he is married, but he goes out and he fucking, and he flaunts it in front of her all the time that he's going out and banging all these earthlings, right?
Apparently it doesn't bother her. Maybe they haven't, they have an arrangement. It does bother her, but she can't say anything because it's an open God.
Yeah, yeah, really turn her in a pile of goo or something. I mean, he's just, well, but she doesn't, doesn't she.
She does some bad shit in this. It's in this, doesn't she.
Well, we'll get to that. We'll get to that. So, they throw, they put the, the, this king puts his daughter and his grandson, who happens to be actually Zeus's son into a chest and the chest magically floats out to see it's a floating coffin.
Yeah, right. And so that's how the movie opens and you're like, oh, great.
So then because of this, Zeus finds out about this because he's got one of his spies, his boy Poseidon disguised as he goes away.
Um, sees this happen, goes back and tells Zeus. So Zeus, Poseidon is, Poseidon is his little bitch in this whole movie. He is just his, he is his dirty, yeah, it gets him to do all his dirty work.
So Zeus kills the king by in a kind of a cool way takes this little like clay statue of him and crushes him and that breaks apparently every bone and the king's body dying in place Poseidon releases.
According to this, the last of the Titans, the gigantic sea monster called the back.
Did you hear that?
Yeah, what was that?
I don't know what that was.
Okay.
Hey, special guest.
Got Zeus on the line.
Let's start with under lightning. I'm turning off the podcast.
Okay.
So the Kraken, which they call it Titan, but actually isn't it's just a sea monster from like Norse mythology, right? Like, can I, can I interject? It's a Scandinavian monster.
And they just, it looked like they threw it in there. Like, hey, he does look Scandinavian. He's definitely got the ads of the Scandinavian. Yeah. So the Kraken.
Long lean body. He's tall.
Yeah.
The Kraken doesn't do anything cool. The Kraken doesn't like come out of sea and like do a Godzilla thing. It just makes a bunch of waves, which kill everybody in the entire city.
Right. It's basically just, it goes for a swim towards the ocean or towards the shore, which then just makes a shit ton of waves. Right. And so Zeus, because of, you know, what happened to his son.
Yes, Argos. Yeah.
Yeah, Zeus, because of what happened to its son decides to kill.
I don't know, 500,000, 5000 people who destroy the whole town.
Meanwhile, Perseus and his mom safely float away to the island of Sarah, folks.
Like Perseus, we're Perseus grows to adulthood. I'm pretty sure Poseidon always had this image of like Poseidon. Like walking the casket to the island. Like pyres of the Caribbean.
Yeah, exactly. He's just like, here you go, buddy.
So Perseus, I just want to go back. But the whole, I mean, Zeus causes this problem, right? By going down and fucking this woman. Right? Yes. And then impregnated, which he said he is the guy he could just not impregnate her. How about that? How about just.
You know, I mean, like, yeah, right. I mean, he doesn't care. He wants to have. Okay.
So he does that. But then the dad then puts the daughter and his son in the casket to die. Why not just save them there? Or why not just kill the dad for doing it and save them? Why kill the whole? I don't understand why he's such a fucking asshole.
Well, I don't know if you get into in this podcast because there's no answer is why the Greek gods were the way they were. Because they were all. I know. I mean, yeah, you're in this movie. Like this. I mean, like this.
So I was like, I would like the story. I know I'd like the story of the fucking peasant who's like, you know, just till his land or whatever. And then all of a sudden, he's like, God damn it. These fucking gods bang some chick.
I don't even it's like the.
It's like for my python where they're in the, he's like the farmer's like, well, what do I care. You can't, what kind of system government is a lady in a way distributing swords like that's what this is like this poor guy is going to die because.
Yeah.
I don't think we're going to, we're not going to decide to pray for this of gods, but I know what I'm going to focus on though is that Zeus showed up to the woman as a golden shower, a golden shower. I'm sorry, they said shower of gold shower
is that is that an erotic thing like I mean what that got her.
Some producers flowing like, yeah, I mean cry. I'm not sure how I'm using that because she was seduced by it. Because he appeared that way.
Well, I think we think we've learned that the PG version of rape is seduced. I think that's what we learned.
They say seduced version. Yeah.
But then they go into so, so Perseus and his mom are on the island there. They grow up that's when we see her a little bit of boob to begin with the beginning and the but, and we see him grow up.
Right.
But then the gods talk about the, it's.
Aphrodite and Hera and.
That is. That is. They sit there and they talk, they tell the story right of how.
I don't know how to say it or whatever, but they don't that's when they do their little like, monologue to tell you like Zeus does all these other things.
Little backstory how he likes to be a swan and some other creatures and those and seduces women all the time and.
Yeah, so yeah, it's like this weird okay, but that's just kind of gave you some actual Greek mythology.
He's got some kind of power because I'm pretty sure you know, if it's anybody besides zoo showed up as a duck, nobody's going to have sex with him.
Whatever, semantic, but the point is more that obviously he has some kind of a sway over these women. So I don't know, I feel like these zoos just made up random.
Yeah, I'll do the duck the lugs the fuck. Yeah, here we go.
Yeah, like a 20 sided guy and you're like let's do is going to be in this story. Yeah, let's go for it. Yeah, anyway, people make good choices, there would be no story.
Well, yeah, there's still a story.
I just think that the gods would be less petty. But anyway, okay, back to our story.
So, meanwhile, Calibos Calibos Calibos, son of the sea god, that is that is confusing that isn't them.
Okay, so Calibos son of the sea goddess that is is betrothed to Princess Andromeda and say that name daughter of Queen Cassiopeia of Japa.
But for committing several atrocities against zoos, including destroying zoos is sacred flying horses, accepting only Pegasus.
Yes, Zeus transforms Calibos into a deformed monstrous, sadder like creature. That's a mouthful.
In revenge, that is transports an adult Perseus from Sarafus to an abandoned amphitheater in Japa, where he befriends an elderly Elle, where he befriends an elderly poet named.
Ammon, Mickey, Mickey, right, right, Burgess Meredith, and learns an Andromeda is under a curse and cannot marry unless her suitor upon the threat of his execute.
On threat of execution, if he fails successfully answers a riddle concocted by Calibos.
And that's a really great thing because Perseus walks in and he's like, Hey, guys, what's going on here and like, Oh, we're burning the guy who couldn't get the riddle right in front of Andromeda.
And there's a, it's like a pig picking.
Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, they're all sitting around watching like that. It's like how long we have to watch this guy burn like all the way his hair.
Yeah, yeah, I am.
Yeah, so.
But like the summary gloss is over how it's, say it is whatever her name is, the one God, who's going to see her.
That is, that is, that is, sorry, that is she gets mad at Zeus because Perseus has all this.
He's been given everything in her son then guy. So then she just magically transports him to job. Right. Yeah, he wakes up for whatever.
People. Yeah.
Whatever it is.
And Burgess Meredith has no problem with this random guy just showing up at his amphitheater.
Well, he just took the gods from the gods. Yeah, he is very, very accepting of everything.
Everything's with Deus Ex Macchia Macchia where it's like anything to be explained away.
And I mean, I mean, you know, to be fair.
Thedas watched Zeus turn her son who granted sounded like a shitty person.
And you obese and all she did to Perseus was just kind of like transport him.
Basically, I picked him up in New York and dropped him in LA.
Oh, here's my okay.
Here's who is his dad.
He's the devil guy.
But they don't go like I'm wondering who is that because who did you and pregnant the goddess.
Maybe it's just wait.
Well, wouldn't that make that that baby a god then like that's where I'm like.
No, I think we're only a god.
Oh, yeah, that's a good point.
Must have been a human.
It had to be human.
She had to go so all the guys just go down and fuck the fuck the humans whenever they want.
Apparently.
Yeah.
It's a family tree that's been intimate with themus or thedas.
They've all been God.
So yeah, she must have had relations.
I guess it's something they do.
They get bored up on Mount Olympus.
So they just kind of fucked each other down.
You know, they go pick up a human.
They go slumming.
They just love it down.
I guess.
Yeah.
It's just weird.
Okay, so back to the back to the story here.
Okay, so we got it.
Sorry.
Zeus and his sister divider.
No, sorry.
Other sister.
Zeus and his sister, Hera.
Gave birth to Ares.
And then Zeus and Dion, who is one of the.
Tight.
Other gods.
And then Zeus had a daughter Aphrodite.
And so Zeus is daughter and with one woman and Zeus is son with another woman.
Had a child either arrows or for sure, harmonia.
There's a lot of inbreeding here.
Yeah, it's like.
I think we need to stick to our movie.
Otherwise we can go.
Yeah.
It's not even trying to unravel this.
Okay.
Yeah, so back to the movie.
So we're, we're Perseus finds out that you have to solve this riddle.
And so then Zeus sends Perseus a God crafted helmet from Athena,
which can make its wearer invisible.
A magical sword from Aphrodite and a shield from Hera.
Perseus wearing the helmet captures Pegasus and follows.
Oh, God.
We've missed.
We skipped over.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Yeah.
I do like the, I do like the toys he's given.
Yeah.
The helmet is the worst helmet ever because as a helmet,
obviously it makes him invisible, but he, uh,
the eye holders foreheads.
Is the helmet bad or is it just that Perseus wears it poorly?
His hairs.
He's got, he's got that rock in 80s.
Uh, Bushy top though.
And you can't, he can't get that helmet to come all the way down.
Yeah.
It's just, it's on top of that. Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
He gets these magical things and then he decides just.
Add a nowhere.
To use the invisible helmet to go sneak in and watch Aphrodite or not.
Well, no, he goes, he goes into town.
Remember his, remember he gets, first of all, he gets his,
he gets his, uh, FaceTime call on shield.
Remember?
We're glad about that part.
Well, yeah.
Dad calls him on a shield to tell him that, uh,
he's got to find his destiny.
He's got to find his destiny.
But doesn't explain who he is.
When they ask who are you, he goes, you have to find your destiny,
which is, you know, he's like, it suits us like an old senile man who's can't hear.
He just, I think his network, I think his network connection dropped out at that point.
Yeah.
He lost contact with the internet.
So then he decides to put the helmet on walking to town halfway to town invisible and then just appear just to freak out the commoners who are around him.
And then, uh, he goes into town.
He goes into town. That's when he runs into his, who ends up being his like head captain or head guards.
That's already happened because he found out that, uh, about the suitor.
No, that's when he, that's when he goes into town.
He walks into town halfway invisible, then walks in and that's when he talks to the guy and he's telling him he's given the diatribe about the flies.
So he wakes up in the amphitheater and then immediately gets the items.
Right.
Right. Like the next day, after ever.
Okay.
Oh, that's right.
The helmet on. He's like, I'm going to Java.
Yeah.
Forgot it.
Yeah.
He left without a sword.
So Wikipedia is letting me down on this, uh, this summary here.
So good thing we just wanted.
So are we to the point now where he goes in and he's all creepy with Andromeda?
Um.
I mean, cause he knows what's going to happen. He knows that this, if you're a suitor and you don't get the riddle right, but he doesn't know about Andromeda, but he's told that Andromeda is amazingly beautiful because he's like, why would anybody risk their life.
Right.
They're right.
That's right.
She's hot.
She's pretty and she's got money.
Yeah.
And you'll become ruler of the city.
If you've solved the riddle.
And he's already, you know, he's got a shitty, he's ruler of a shitty town.
It's all broken down.
So there's a kingdom of destruction.
So C swift.
His, his castle has fallen into the swamp. Yeah.
So they, uh, yeah.
So, yeah, he walked for whatever reason. Yeah, it decides to go watch her sleep like a fucking per.
And then touches her hair.
But first.
Before that happens.
Oh, yeah, humongous vulture with a cage shows up and.
And let's add a two spirit soul.
Gets up.
Yeah.
Gets up.
Gets into the cage.
Yeah.
Perseus is like, Hmm.
Don't see that every day.
And then goes over and is like, you know what? She really is pretty.
And then pets her hair.
And I just imagine the real story of that actually happened.
He didn't just pet her hair, but we don't need to go into that. That was the nice.
Yeah.
We were talking about.
I think you're writing your own script. So you're, uh, yeah, it's right.
My fanfic.
Yeah.
So.
So let's see.
I'm looking at the summary.
So then he goes back and he talks to, that's when he talks to Burgess Meredith.
He's like, how do I follow? There's no way to follow a flying creature.
And then he tells him, Oh, we could capture the last flying horse Pegasus.
If you want, I just happen to know where he drinks at night.
Cause I guess.
Yeah, Burgess Meredith's character kind of is the, the wise old man who went all the young guys are like, I don't know what to do.
He's like, Jesus do this.
How about this?
He does that a few times in the movie.
So this is his first how about this moment? Right.
He said capture Pegasus.
Yeah.
He's a plot.
And things like fueled by the old wise person.
You think about like, yeah, no, I'm not. Again, I'm not saying.
It just happened.
That's his, his character's purpose is he's kind of Perseus's guy.
He's like, we're going to make the story go this way. Yeah. Yeah.
So they capture Pegasus and there's some flying scenes where we had an argument.
Whether or not Perseus's legs would be in front of or behind the wings and turns out Amanda was right. They're behind.
No, the wings. There's no way he said that he would fall off the ass of that horse every time.
But if he was forward. Yeah.
I like your mom and bring the viewing Brad where he's like, no, they're going through the wings.
There's their person hold.
It's got to be, they have to be bent over the, over the wings and like bent back over. There's only, that's the only way we work.
We'll have to do some digging into that. We'll have to do some, we'll have to, on your big screen, we'll have to do some pausing and be like.
I feel like once the quarantine is lifted, the three of us should get together and one of us could be Pegasus and one of us could be.
We'll have like a mythbusters follow up where it's like, how do you write Pegasus?
Because that would be accurate.
Yes.
Where do we get a Pegasus? That's what I want to do.
One of us doing Pegasus.
Amazon, right? Everybody's on Amazon.
Are they still delivering Pegasus?
Yes.
They're talking about paper.
Yeah.
No, I'm sorry. You have to put your legs in front of the wings closer to the head.
Moving on.
No, you're falling off.
Come out that he's like, I'm thinking back of your legs, I personally feel like the muscle motion of the wings in general would throw anybody off.
Right. It would be this weird. Yeah.
We're talking about a flying horse. So, why does the horse run in the air? I don't understand that.
It doesn't know what else.
It's stupid. Okay, we determined that later too. Remember, the horse is done.
Yeah, the horse is done.
There's also, can this jet actually do this in real life?
Yeah, but the horse is done. The horse is done.
No.
All right.
It gets caught twice in this movie. And then when at the end, yeah, it's three times the horse.
And nearly burns a death. Yeah, but it survived.
So, and as we determined later as well, it's basically just Perseus's cab.
It's his car. It's all it is.
It's over. Yeah.
Yeah. So they, so using Pegasus Perseus that he goes back some other night.
And the same thing happens. Vulture shows up Andromeda's spirit slash soul gets in the cage flies off.
And one of the best shots of the city with the two guards walking up the stairs.
And then you got the vulture with the big cage on one side of the screen.
And then Pegasus fly to, and they're just like, nobody's notices a damn thing up.
Yeah, Amanda's.
Nobody looks up back then. But I mean, what do you feel like you're a helicopter? I mean, no, the vulture is loud.
Vulture is loud.
Very quiet. That vulture. Oh, okay. All right.
Yeah. And the horses, the horse is loud and there's flapping.
I don't know. He's just idiot. They're drunk.
I feel like they would. I mean, once I'm on the horse, the Pegasus would shit.
And people would realize that there's nothing shit.
You don't want to, like.
Or if you're a continent, horses or not.
This is part of a horse shit and virtually.
Oh, yeah. That would be him.
Well, you imagine.
Just raining down from all the Pegasus when they're all when there are a lot of them before that.
There'd be like a herd of Pegasus flying above and just shit raining down.
You're like, oh, I'll work that into my other script too, where first you have more to Andromeda.
Oh, all right.
There'll be a lot more animal shit in that version. Trust me.
So, so now according to Wikipedia.
So where we go.
Correct.
In drama.
Yeah, it follows Andromeda and to learn the next riddle.
Perseus is discovered and nearly killed by Calabas, but manages to sever one of Calabas's hands, losing his helmet.
In the process.
Yeah.
That's, I mean, that's been.
Happens.
Right. Well, he goes in there and he watches.
He watches.
He watches her do the whole thing and she's like, that's one of the weirdest, like that's one of the worst acting scenes.
I think in it.
Where she's trying to act like catatonic, which is her just being at her just acting.
And.
She's obviously.
And she's like, why do you.
Yeah, I remember just the way she taught the sound of her voice.
I just like.
Just I remember hearing that like it just brings back childhood memories.
But yeah, so he's like, you have, you know, he's, you need another suitor and all that.
And she's like, why do you keep coming to me? My dreams, blah, blah.
But then, yeah, she goes back in the cage and goes off and then Perseus, I guess, was standing right next to him.
Why he had to get that fucking close. I don't know.
And then the idiot walks off in the sand.
He's invisible, but his footprints, which he would be able to see because he can't see his own damn foot because he's invisible.
And which the old guy told him about earlier. It's like, I can see your friends. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And then he walks back.
And then gets followed by the get where he parked his horse.
Yeah, that's right.
Dude, where's my horse?
He's in the, you know, he's in the swamp. He's hitting his fob, but Pegasus isn't beep and he can't find anywhere.
Yeah.
That was good. We'll make sure you do all the animal noises for now.
Yes.
You get to do the owl later.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Bobo Bobo.
There's a fight.
And drops his helmet. It sinks into the swamp just like the castle use stone, right? Oh, another Monty Python thing.
Like his old city. Yeah, he loses it. And then he dramatically draws up his sword and brings it down.
But you don't know what happened because it cuts away at that point.
So then going back to this Wikipedia article.
The next morning, Perseus presents himself as suitor and correctly answers the riddle, winning Andromeda's hand in marriage.
They don't tell you what the riddle was.
Yeah, you.
In this they don't.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's kind of an important scene.
The riddle's so weird. It's like, it's stupid.
The riddle.
It's kind of like if we gave Brad a riddle about a piece of pottery in our house.
Like, how the fuck am I supposed to know what that's about?
And then I broke into your house and stole that piece of pottery and then you asked it and I pulled it out.
How does he?
I was holding the pottery and you cut my hand off and took the pottery and hand back.
Why would he just take his this stuff? I'm like, this is stupid. Why would he just take his fucking hand and why would he spare his life.
That makes no sense either way.
Like, why not? This guy has been tormented.
No.
He felt bad.
He spared his life because by sparing his life, he promised to break the curse and not take Andromeda to the swamp anymore.
That was a bargain that they.
Oh, I thought he said pity.
No.
Oh, she said pity.
He actually says in the movie, I spared his life, you're free from your curse.
See, now here would have been a better way.
I get me to tell her you'd be free too.
No, but they shouldn't have cut that scene.
They should have had him still cut his hand off, but then said and spared his life and then have him tell him the answer to the riddle.
And that's how he got the answer because otherwise you have no idea how he got the answer.
There's a point.
Unless he read the shield or whatever that guy was writing on.
Yeah, that's just the riddle.
Is that the answer on the part?
No, you couldn't read it.
It was super.
That's a valid point.
Actually, I hadn't thought about that.
I mean, that would have made him much better.
Because I never, it's a kid.
Even his kid's like, how the hell did he know that's what it was?
And why did he think only to cut his hand off?
Like, I don't believe the last thing we've done would be to cut Calibas's head off.
Take the head, show up and say he's dead.
The curse is broken. I want you to marry me. I don't even need a risk.
You're free.
And hey, babe, I did this for you.
What you got?
The movie would have been over.
I know.
But here's the thing.
Like they actually do like she he's so he's nice.
He spares him.
And then he does solve the riddle. So it should be broken anyway, right?
And then, and then she gets all pissed off because of what the mom says.
Cast your payer.
Yeah.
We cast a pair at the compares.
And then she gets all pissed. Yeah, she gets all pissed off again.
It's like.
Yeah, honestly, that's a good point.
He's fucking gone.
Calibas.
The movie would have been over because he causes the rest of the problems.
Right.
Although even if Calibas was dead, yeah, because we got to get into the next part.
So.
Where the hell are we?
Okay.
So finding that fetus cannot act against Perseus.
Calibas instead demands that.
She take vengeance on Japa at the wedding and fetuses temple.
Queen Castio payer declares Andromeda's beauty greater than that of that is herself.
Whereupon an earthquake shakes the temple, causing the head of the statue of that is to break off and crash to the floor.
That is using the statues head to speak through demands and drama to be sacrificed to the Kraken on pain of Japa's destruction.
So yeah, that's the thing is that even if he killed Calibas, well, I guess if he killed Calibas, then Calibas couldn't have come and said, mom, please do something for me.
But mom might have been pissed off anyway that her son's dead and still could have said I'm going to kill him.
That's right.
He plays apart later, but I mean, even if he, my point is even if Perseus killed Calibas, it still would have pissed off.
Yeah.
And she still could have just come over and said, Hey, you know what?
She's fucking petty anyway, because no, but he spared his.
Perseus, he spared his life.
She should have been like, Hey, listen, you know, he could have killed you.
He didn't.
We're going to leave him alone now.
Yeah, I guess she's, she's still mad though that she turned that you got turned into.
I just, I just, so I'm on an IMDB. This is just a little sidebar. I think it's funny.
So the actor who played Calibas was Neil McCarthy.
Yeah.
And he's wasn't a ton of movies.
He's a zoo.
The original.
He was in time bandits. He was all this other. But his IMDB picture.
Yeah.
They actually worked in a fire region, man.
They actually weren't going to use.
He died four years after this was early. He died in 85.
They weren't going to use the live action actor.
They were just going to use Harryhausen's special effects.
But they decided that they needed some close ups of the face.
And so I think the live action looks better than the stop motion.
The care. I think it's good the way they used it. Like you can tell whenever they show a full body shot.
It's stop motion, you know, special effects. But whenever they show just his front or like from the belly up, it's obviously the actor.
His hairy hair that goes all the way from his head all the way down to the back.
Yeah.
Really? Okay. Interesting.
Can I make Calibas all he was in where he was there? Yeah.
And they have a picture of him in this fucking movie.
Yeah, that's kind of unfortunate. But maybe that's, I mean, when Internet movie database became a thing, that's what people knew him by, I guess, the programmers.
So back to our continuing story of the cat who's gone to the door.
It's our okay plot summary here.
Perseus seeks a way to defeat the Kraken, but Pegasus. Wait, what?
Okay. Yeah, this is this thing really leaves out. So, whoa, it goes right in the end.
What?
It goes right to the end.
No, no.
Perseus seeks a way to defeat the Kraken, but Pegasus is captured.
So they don't even tell like what they're going to do. So he seeks a way to defeat the Kraken and the old guy comes out and says, you need to go to the witches, right, because they'll have an idea to do it. And isn't that.
Yeah, did, but did they even talk about how they, oh, you did mention the part with the curse and all that. Okay. Yeah, that's it.
There's, they're leaving out some chunks of stuff here. Yeah. So nobody, nobody wants to move away through and type it out.
The reason I'm reading from Internet movie databases, I didn't want to be like jumping all over the place, but I'm doing it anyway.
Pegasus is captured by Calibas and his men. Zeus commands Athena to give Perseus her al boob. But she orders. Oh, God, that to build a golden replica of boobbo instead, who leads Perseus to the witches so apparently fucking dumbest part of this movie.
But now that Pegasus is gone. They decided to use an owl instead. So they have a robotic owl. And yeah, it's like a steam punk owl. Oh, yeah. It's still, it's still a sentient robot. I mean, yeah, it's the jar jar bank for this movie.
It was supposed to be R.G.D. too. It's cute. That's all it is. It's, you know, in a movie that's not cute in any way, it would have made it would have made more fucking sense if it had been R2 D2.
I've been like, all right, we're fine. We're crossing things here. I know this is not, but the way I was like, what? I mean, as a kid, I love the owl too. I thought it was funny, but it's so stupid. It really, it's a piece of shit. It's garbage. It doesn't help. It's, it's more trouble than it's worth half the time.
But the most important thing it does. Well, one of the most important things grabs the bag of the head. Nope. Is it lead them to the witches. Oh, that's the reason that it gets sent is they can't find these witches.
Either I can without the owl. So he served for perfect. And then as Amanda alluded to, he's perfect. Yeah, he does help. But I feel like the invisible helmet was still, it was still, he was definitely definitely downgrade as far as his James Bond gadgets went.
Yeah, you really dropped the ball. Yeah, you really dropped the ball by giving him this fucking out. He should have saved the helmet for later.
So every time we mentioned the magic helmet, or sorry, invisible helmet, my brain goes to Looney Tunes spirit magic helmet. Yeah, I can't hear anything else.
That's a good thing to think of that. I mean, Elmer Fudd, Percy is pretty much the same person spirit magic. So they get to the witches. And, and again, this really glosses over stuff.
And basically, Perseus goes in and he's like talking up the witches and it, they make it blatantly obvious that these witches are the non sexy witches, a compared to.
And there's like a half dead guy in this big cauldron of shit that they're cooking, whatever it is. What do they have it over for dinner? That's what I want to know that cauldron was like four feet tall filled.
Yeah. I don't know what it is. It might be lotion. You think they needed it. Yeah. Yeah. So he has. And again, here's another thing that the owl does the owl feel the eye.
That the witches used to see and without the eye. Now Perseus has like a bargaining chip. So he forces them to reveal that the only way to defeat the track and the tracking.
The crack and the end of Medusa, who lives on an island in the rivers sticks at the edge of the underworld. So, basically, he has to go and do something else. And if he can get the head of the craft.
He's he's such a dick to these witches though. They're not, they don't try to do anything to him. He comes into their house. He steals their one magic little toy.
And then he demands that they tell him some information he needs to know. And then when it comes time with like we've given you the information we've told you the truth that he dickly says here they're blind by the way sorry.
But he steals as a glass ball that they have to all share in order for them to see through. We didn't really call the eye. And he steals that his owl steals that and then he's holding it. And then when he finally gets the information he wants he's like, and they're like, give us the eye.
They're like, he's like, Oh, here, catch. Fuck an asshole. And throw it. They're all assholes.
Yeah, it would be the equivalent of showing up at some guys houses in a wheelchair. And then he does, you know, you dump them out of the wheelchair. He does something for you and then you roll his wheelchair down a hill.
I'm like, see, it'd be the equivalent of coming over someone's house and making them tell you what color she is in your colorblind. Fuck those people.
So, the next day, the group continues on their journey without Andromeda because Andromeda and the old guy were along up to this point.
And then he put it Brad ghost or they go to the original ghosting. We run off in the middle of the night and continue on so Andromeda and the old guy go back to Java. It's assumed, and Perseus and a couple throw away characters and his buddy.
Who's name I can't remember. Continue on. So, good to get had 30 days because they use up all their time for this. Yeah. I mean, I mean, because they get we're given a 30 day window. And I don't know, man, if I was person, like, Hey, listen, you're really hot and all around, but I'm good.
Like, I don't know why they just did all move out of town. They had 30 days. They can just all left the town, let the crack and destroy it and then come back.
Because the gods are capricious and they will find you.
They're going to come after they're going to, you know, the next week after this moves over the next week there's some other drama, some other bullshit that they put up with the gods again and do the same fucking heroic thing again. Some other way.
That's the Titans to electric balloon. Yeah. Yeah, this is Zeus back in action. Yeah. But yeah, so they, all right, so that's right. So they take off and they go to the river sticks.
So one guy doesn't come with them. I don't know why. Why doesn't his main guy come out. He's got to hold the owl. He's got to hold the owl.
Because, I mean, everybody who goes on the island is going to die. So you can't let the main warrior guy die. You got to let all the red shirts die dies the next scene after that.
Yeah, yeah. So he, they call the, um, the, um, the oarsman. What do they call that guy? Karen Karen. Yeah, the guy who will take you across the river and he's a skeleton. He's pretty cool.
So they get over to Medusa's Island and Perseus. See, again, they really, really go over this really quickly. Perseus fights and kills Medusa's guardian, a two headed dog name.
Diagnosis. Diosis. All right, cuz if they are, they're really, I can't let us die of skelos. I don't know, kills a two headed dog.
Yeah, that. And Perseus enters into the gorgons of Medusa's lair, where he uses the reflective underside of his shield to deceive Medusa to capitate her and collect her head.
But the shield is dissolved by her caustic blood. But again, first one is a mirror and there aren't mirrors yet.
Are there not mirrors? They don't, they don't call them mirrors. I mean, they should have something that stuff reflected. Yeah.
I feel like mirrors are around. I don't know what, what year does this take place.
It's definitely before 1960.
I don't know not to do my homework. I think it's in the BCE era.
Yeah, I believe so. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's the summary here. But I mean, there's, there's more to me. No, I think it's great. They walk in.
So there's, so they lose one guy to the dog. Yeah. Yeah. So there's one of the red shirts. So then there's the two of them left and Perseus is such a dick. He's like, remember, now there's only three of us like.
Oh, yeah, fuck you. We, you know, we saw, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah.
And I'm going up the middle. No, that is the best day. They walk into the chamber. Yeah, he's like, yeah, he points to go this way.
And then they're all still looking straight ahead, knowing that if they look right at this at Medusa, they're going to turn to stone.
And they think by holding their shields up right below their eyes somehow that's going to help. I don't know. I'm like, you should be walking that place backwards.
I mean, it's like that the one guy gets shot at the arrow right away. And it was like, they're like, Oh, fuck, she's got a weapon too. Like, yeah.
Not just ugly. Yeah. Right. She's not just ugly and get charged to stone, but she's actually got a, she's going to hunt us down too. It's like shit.
I'm going to go all cat is ever dean on us. Right. Yeah. And so, I mean, so the one guy gets it. The other guy, he gets hit his shield gets hit by the arrow.
And he falls down. And like an idiot then turns around and looks back up at her. Right. Rather than just getting up and running.
We're crawling. The first guy gets shot in the back. Yeah. Like a random vat of acid. Right. Yeah.
That's where she bathes at night. You know, she's got to keep. You got to you got to descale. She's got to descale herself.
The best scene in the whole movie, I thought, as far as the special effects go and all that is when he throws that shield onto that frozen statue and it looks like.
I don't even know how they did. It looks like it's almost in reverse.
The way it sticks, because I mean, it doesn't.
It's just like, right. Yeah. And then you brought up a good point, Brock, why we're watching it is that the plan doesn't even work. So he's so he throws it onto this statue under the arms.
So then he can put his head in the reflection of the shield, which then would do so then shoots.
And the shield. And the shield just like all's off to the side. But I can't make me find. I mean, where she is.
Maybe he thought that she thought he was dead. So she's coming. No, because she comes. She hasn't come. She saw him already. She was going to go that way. But maybe it gave him, like, a sense of perspective, like how far back she was over his right, like, right.
I mean, as a kid, this made perfect sense. But the thing is, the shield, after she shoots the shield, and it lands on the ground, it lands in such a way that he can see her coming. But he didn't know he was going to happen.
He doesn't actually know he doesn't use it when it's on the ground. He only use it when it's on the ground after she's dead to pick up her head.
And again, that wasn't part of his plan. He wasn't like, well, that wasn't part of his plan. No, he just stands there. Like, I don't know what his plan was like, she shoots the shield. It falls down.
And then his plan was just to wait for her to come in. Why not just let her come anyway. Yeah.
You were watching this. Like, this guy has no plan. And Brock was like, do I love the plan? He's, he's just kind of like, he's just waiting it. That was interesting because, like I said, as a kid, I never really thought about it. But then, yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense.
It doesn't make any sense. Eight or nine when this came out. But I mean, I've watched it in my teens, probably. It's still, I never really thought about it.
Brock, how do you think we were the first time we saw this? Because I mean, I know we didn't see the theater.
So, I imagine we probably saw it by 1982. That's what I was thinking.
Yeah, you gotta remember back then though. Stuff didn't come on VHS. And so, like a year, at least a year later.
Even if it took two years, we would have been like nine. I was going to say, I think I was 12, 11 or 12 when I saw this. No, no, you're math again.
It came out in 81. If it's two years, it's 83.
I think that I saw it later. That's what I'm saying is if it was a year or two, or even if it was 30. It came out right around my birthday.
It came out in the summer. Yeah, yeah. I guess all of our birthdays.
Your granddad had like, he would do the beta thing for you. And I know that we were.
Yeah, that would have, that's what I don't know. Like, I couldn't find anywhere. I looked earlier. I couldn't find what year it was released on home video.
I remember back in the day, it would take it would be over. Yeah, it'd be a year, it'd be anywhere.
Because we don't even know when stuff, it would take a year. Right. Back then, movies would be in the theater forever.
Yeah, it would stay. It would stay around.
But then I watched, we watched it a lot. I remember watching it.
I remember, we watched it. I remember we watched it at momma and pop pops. And I remember using my boombox and actually recording just the audio part of it.
Really? Like two tape decks. And then I, yeah, I remember that. Like, because I didn't have any other, we didn't have a PCR yet.
And then I would go home and I listened to it that way. I just listened to it. Did you have the two hour tapes? Remember you used to get the two hour tapes?
Yeah, you used the extended play. Yeah, the two hour one.
That if you did anything wrong, it would snap.
Yes, we're that old.
Or something. That was a big deal.
I forgot about that. Like tape and stuff off the radio and stuff. So anyway, okay, so we're getting off track. So back to the story here.
Yeah, it's still that magically landed in such a way that he could then pick up Medusa's head after he decapitated her, decapitated her is milkled by the disgusting or that comes out of Medusa.
Yeah, she rolls her body flails for like 30 seconds. And then it finally falls down. And then like, it pulses goo this like gelatinous, nasty little alien. It's got the right, they didn't like.
It's so odd that you guys are grossed out by that.
It's weird.
The way it's like the stop motion and it just like unnaturally pauses.
I will say the of all the special effects, the Medusa in this scene, the fight scene is, I think, by far the best of everything.
Yeah, it's still creepy. It's still good. It's still, she looks good. Like her wandering around. It looks like they look like they're in the same room to get like, it doesn't look like.
I wonder if the darker set maybe it was easier to make it seamless. Yeah. Was it the fully like the noise they use for her tail like everything about it you're just like, yeah, she's creepy. She's still creepy.
Holds up. So, as Percy has in his party set to return, Calibus enters their camp and punctures the cloak carrying Medusa's head. What the fuck is in this cloak? Yeah, what? So, so yeah, five minutes ago, the blood dissolved a magical shield from the gods.
Now the blood makes three little scorpions, two very big scorpions. No, I think they were there. No, I think it drops on the rocks in terms of drops on the rocks and then there's like a little, if you look, there's like maggots and shit and then all of a sudden they scorpion.
We don't we don't have we don't have a 30 foot scream. No, but what I would like what I think is crazy is like in that cloak. What he pokes it. It like pulses out that blood like again, would he like what the hell what is in.
Yeah, how would the reading blood left in her head. She's a girl. What are the weirdest scenes in the movie though is when he comes out of her little, I don't know, her temple right, and he's got her head and he holds it up and then it does the lightning flash and then it flashes to her head
and then being in the bag hanging on the tree. Yeah, but yeah, it was a but the new is going to go in the cloak because they already told you that when when he was with the witches remember he said they said that the cloak was protected
because the people in the audience were not paying attention. Maybe that was a kid. So the kids would understand. Yeah. I mean that would put that was a, that was, that was, that was very fortuitous of him to hold the eye and then all of a sudden his cloak is able
to hold the head after the fact that he's wearing the cloak in the cave. Well, and that was also a very cinematic shot where he walks out and he just holds it up to nobody.
I want to see the scene where he's getting off the boat back coming back on the other, you know, back across the river sticks where he's totally naked because he had to take the cloak off the wrap up Medusa's head. So he doesn't kill his buddy right and he gets off the boat.
And he's just completely buck naked they're holding the bag and it's like, okay, Karen, you're going to owe me this, this six or whatever. Yeah, the guy has the boatsman behind the shaking his head.
He's like, no, no, we don't take naked people you can't get on the boat. He's stuck on the island.
My thing is, okay, back to that, just a little, little, we'll roll back just a little bit of that. His buddies, when they get to the river sticks and his buddy has the coin that they need.
Like, just happens to be carried like, how long is he been carrying that one coin? Like, yeah, I'm eventually I'm no I'm going to end up with the river sticks and someone's going to get it across and I'm going to hold on to this baby.
Maybe maybe that's part of like when he becomes like an officer in the guards, like there's a special coin. Just hold on to it you might need it you never know right.
So you need your shield your sword and this coin otherwise yeah.
So something old something new something borrowed something blue and your shoe something.
Yeah.
Oh man that part was I was like oh come on like lucky for him.
So Calibus and the scorpions attacking kill Perseus's remaining escorts.
The Perseus overcomes the scorpions and thereafter kills Calibus.
All right so the scorpion scenes are pretty bad.
From a yes the the fake fighting of the scorpions, which I know the actors had nothing to go on is pretty bad, but they also fuck up there's three scorpions only to get killed.
Yeah, whatever and also.
Perseus just the one guy gets stung and dies instantly from the stinger and then at the end Perseus just grabs the stinger and holds it up and then chops it off and then kills the thing so it's like.
Oh which is it like it even on the even on the big screen, it doesn't look like he's grabbing like behind the stinger the tail part. It looks like he's putting his hand straight on that stinger.
Well because again, they're fake acting they're you know they're putting you know they're super imposing.
You think you're able to move it though.
It's not on the end the scorpion was put in after the fact Amanda think that they would kind of like let's move the scorpion can you make that guy's stinger yeah make him dress right.
Right I don't know the scorpions is a really weird addition the Medusa blood making scorpion that was almost like a throw away like we got to give Perseus one more thing to fight.
No I feel like it was who was the special effects guy. Yeah, it's almost like he's like I've done this really fucking cool thing with scorpions. We got a good in the movie they're awesome and they're all like blown away like holy shit the scorpions look awesome.
Yeah, well we'll work it in we'll work it in. Yeah, and then I mean honestly the way Calabas dies is pretty lame because you know Perseus is there he gets the whip around him and he's pulling he's pulling Perseus with his whip and right next to Perseus is the sword.
Can his guy throw the sword to it. Oh, he already dropped it he dropped it so Perseus is reaching for the sword you know what's going to happen. I'm talking about that part in there with the whip.
Well now he swings that I'm like a throwing knife or yeah like and Calabas has that like three prawns try to try to.
Yeah, there's a hand is super captain hook. Pull hard, drag Perseus back like two feet and then he's away from the sword he's fine and then he can stab him with your try to hate him.
I don't know he just that I just his death was kind of weak. Anyway, the best though before that the fight right when the guys all wake up because remember we totally glossed over the fucking stupid owl, where he was on watch.
He falls asleep the fucking owl the robot owl falls asleep. And then when he finally does wake up and sees everything he's about to warn him.
Calabas Calabas devil guy whips and he falls in the water and then he's gone. And then they hear that they hear like the splash and Perseus and all those buddies wake up and they start walking over looking for the owl in the branch, not noticing the
huge scorpions and the fact that they're horses have been whipped away. And then Perseus has his sword in its sheet still in one hand and a torch in the other.
And for whatever reason he goes to fight the scorpion right away he goes to put the sword up within the she like, and then the scorpion knocks that away so then he's fighting the damn scorpion with the torch for half the threat.
I was like, God, man, Perseus is bad. He's just, he's never good at this.
That fight scene. There were there were details in that fight scene that I don't remember. I mean, it was kind of just dumb in a lot of ways.
So, back to our plot. Yeah, we need to buy his struggle Perseus sends boo boo who after the fight's over comes out of the water coughing to rescue from Calabas's henchmen.
This is the this might be the worst thing in the process it's very keystone cops sort of thing.
And reaches the amphitheater and Japa where he collapses from. Let's let's let's talk about the damn the rescue of Pegasus because I gloss over that.
I know but there's this little fucking mechanical owl that comes in. There are, I don't know, half a dozen guys with swords at the at the camp, and then the big ass vulture.
And somehow this little out the vultures terrified of the little owl. And then all of a sudden the camp it's in the swamp mind you in the swamp. One of the torches falls over.
And it's like, yeah, it's like they worked, but it's like they worked at a petrol station or something like the whole fucking thing goes up. Like it is insane. And then luckily, they've encased Pegasus in a gate that has a counterweight.
Now can open the gate for Pegasus. I mean, that was very lucky of them. A lot of love. They love counterweights. Yeah, there's a lot of counterweights. That's true. That's true. They're into their their cages and counterweights.
So, I mean, that's just that part that part is just like that even, I don't know like, why have that scene that scene is so weird.
And that again to me that was like a scene you have to rest. Yeah, and it's like it's kind of funny. Yeah, it's it's a bumbling it's Jar Jar fighting off the army of the droid army at the end of the Phantom Menace you know it's all just slapstick.
But it's at least it's over a lot faster. Yeah, but there's not really any campy stuff in this before that. Like, there's no like, he's definitely. Right, but it's this. Yeah.
It's this is very serious like it's Shakespeare and actors as the gods. And even the mortals are very, there's not any throwaway lines. There's not even like, you know, some little.
There's no Wilhelm screaming. Yeah, there's no Wilhelm. That's not in every movie. It's only just. Yeah. So, all right. Yeah.
No, that scene doesn't fit. It's, it's, it is. There do seem to be some scenes that it's almost like they put them in as an afterthought. Like, we need a little bit more. So, hey, here's a funny scene with boo boo rescuing Pegasus.
We need, like you said, Harryhausen did these scorpions, and he's already said he's going to get pissed if we don't use them. So let's make another fight scene real quick.
And that is from a Greek name.
No, it's. I always think of the flag.
Who's a latin term for a genus of owls, but not born owls, which is what.
The genus for barn owls is Tito.
That sounds more like one of the Jackson's from the Jackson. So I guess they decided.
Because it films better. Yeah.
So, so then yeah, so Perseus gets back to Java and collapses from exhaustion, but then he gets another assist from Zeus.
How was he exhausted? All he had to do is ride on the horse on the way back.
No, I mean, he could take, he could have taken a nap. He could have napped that whole time.
Yeah, he could have clipped in and leave the chair back on Pegasus. Right. Yeah, exactly. On air Pegasus. I mean, come on.
So, this takes his little collapse statue and turns him so now he's up. So that leads us to believe apparently that Perseus is fine.
So then we cut to Andromeda.
See, there's another bullshit thing like, because they're right against the clock, right? The running out of time. The 30 days is just about up.
You know, it's like, Brad, why not help him out beforehand?
When you're, he's about to get killed earlier by the scorpions. Why not just touch the scorpions and kill them all.
If he wanted to, he could have made this entire movie not happen.
It's that whole God doesn't need to do things when you want him to. He told part of Zeus's plan, Brad.
It's all part of Zeus's plan. You cannot possibly understand it. Zeus is an asshole. I know his plan.
And it's an asshole plan, but it's a plan. So Andromeda is shackled to the sea cliffs outside Japa, and the Kraken itself is summoned.
Bubo diverts the Kraken's attention until Perseus, whose strength was secretly restored by Zeus, as we alluded to, appears on Pegasus.
In the subsequent battle, Perseus. What the fuck? In the movie, he takes like the most, they walk her out.
Like, he, so he's in the amphitheater in Jibu, or whatever it was, what the hell they're doing in places.
Juku, or whatever. Yeah, Jakku.
He walks from the amphitheater, where that's where he gets restored health, right? And not even like, whatever.
It's the same day he walks in there and sees in the beginning of the movie. So why it takes him so long on the horse on Pegasus.
Like he's flying over like deserts and all of a sudden, when they keep showing, it's like, where is he going? Why is he taking the long way home?
Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, he went from like Egypt. Yeah, we, we, we, we missed a crucial part that we didn't, that's not in the Wikipedia, obviously.
There's a lot of Wikipedia. I know, but there is a very crucial scene. Oh, the boobs. The boobs. They show, yeah, they show, you know, she's getting cleaned up to be stronger.
And so, yeah, you get to see a little, you know, boobies, some more boobies.
Some, some boobs, some ass. Yeah.
I got to give her props that she doesn't scream through the whole thing. Right. So, yeah. Okay. So then they take her down and they strap her.
Yeah, they shackled her. They shackled her into the, onto the rock, Poseidon calls the Kraken, and then Perseus has taken his sweet ass time on Pegasus. He's taken the long road.
You can't undo the knot in his bag to get Zeus's head fucking idiot.
Too close to the Kraken because as we've alluded to Pegasus, Pegasus is a fucking idiot. Yeah, it's a bright next to it.
Perseus and Pegasus get knocked into the water.
The creature from the black Lagoon, actually eat and drama has his second hero moment. He picks up.
Yeah, he does. He does save the day here. We'll give him his credit for this. Perseus finally gets the knot undone after he like holds his hand up like hold on cracking.
Yeah, time out and then, and then fucking accidentally looks at Medusa's head, turns the stone dies and drama gets eaten and the whole thing's over. Right. Right. And that's the director's cut. But we were much better story.
Yeah. And so he pulls the head out and the Kraken turns the stone and then he tosses the head into the ocean to kill all the fish and all the fish.
And then he starts to burn the head. It's going to wash up and some kids fucked up. I'd keep that thing in that bag. Anytime someone pissed me off, pull that thing out. Yeah.
Why wouldn't he keep that? It's the ultimate weapon. Yeah, that's true. I would. Yeah, definitely keep that thing. Keep that. Why wouldn't I mean, I've got the cloak that holds it. Just keep it.
He's Andromeda. They get married. You see a shot of them sleeping peacefully in the bed where he was creepily watching her. And they sleep on the covers. It's so weird.
Yeah, I guess it's on the fucking covers. I guess it's hot. I guess it's hot in ancient Greece, I guess. You know what? I feel like you just need even a sheet.
It's something. Not like it. A movie. Something. Yeah, I agree. Then the movie ends with Zeus proclaiming that their memories will live forever because he's going to put them up into the stars and they become.
They become. And it's like the heroic Perseus, the beautiful Andromeda and the vain Cassiopeia. Cassiopeia got the rotten adjective with the bunch. I mean, she was kind of vain.
And is that the mom? That's the mom. And she's vain because she mentioned that her daughter was prettier than a god.
Only things she did. You could have said like the wise Cassiopeia. When did else is she so vanity?
When she says it wasn't for her. That's not for her.
For her. Yeah, exactly. Good point. Fuck this. I'm writing a word. I'm writing a strongly word. It led her to the writer of this fucking movie. This is bullshit.
The writer is dead. You should write it to this. So, this is dearest Zeus. You are an asshole.
That's the movie. And what I'm getting out of this after this discussion is that everybody in this movie is stupid. Yeah.
And they're in and they're assholes. They're all all the gods and goddesses are assholes are just spiteful little bitches like people are dumb.
And the people are dumb. Percy is can't undo a knot. Pegasus is just too good at getting caught and doesn't say Brock, Brock, I do have one thing. Pegasus is not a person.
That's true. Right. You know what? I didn't notice that this time. Thank you for clearing that up. None of us are stupid.
No.
Yeah. I mean, like at the end, like you said, if the Pegasus just flew, I don't know.
A couple hundred yards away just hovered because it can do that. And just wait. It's like, you got that not.
Come on, bud. How's it? How's that not like fight or flight would have set in at some point. You'd be like, I'm not going to fly this close.
That's what should have happened.
I think they mentioned he he they call it Sally. Okay, fine, but Pegasus stays in the water. The whole rest of the fight.
And then it comes out the end and then everyone cheers when he goes up on the road. Cheers. It's like that fucking dumbass horse didn't do shit.
Well, you may got him there via Egypt. So it's a fucking taxi. He's a taxi.
Yeah.
You know, he was trying to make some extra money off Percy. So he took him along.
Hey, he's not from around here. He's not going to know this short.
He's going to find something interesting about. So I was looking at IMDB earlier before yesterday, when I was looking at this movie and everything.
And on IMDB, they have a clip from Cisco and Ebert's review of this movie.
The original show, they have a show and the whole shows up there, the whole half an hour, I forget their show, but that, that episode, they reviewed the same episode they reviewed history of the world part one, the Mel Brooks comedy.
And it was kind of like, I was like, Oh, okay, no, that one. So, do you want to guess what they rated it.
I mean, they did thumbs up thumbs down, right? No, this is actually, that's another fun. This is before thumbs up thumbs down. So they just gave it a yes or no. Do you want it? They're like, they're just like yes or no to watch it. Yes.
So this is, that's how old this fucking movie is. This is before there is no.
Yeah, they never agreed.
Well, and this one they both agreed.
No, they both loved it.
Really.
They thought, I mean, at the time to you, I think this is, they thought the stop animation was amazing. They were like, it's a funny review because.
Yeah, but they, but they really liked it. They were like, they were like, they were, he was like, you know, we know, we've known for years that you can put animation so you put anything on TV on screen with a live, like an animation way with a live person like and they said it like in Disney's
the sound of music, which I thought was a song of the South, sorry, which I thought was an interesting one was an interesting one to use as a reference. I mean, you could use Mary Poppins. They could, they uses that one as a reference is that you can put animation on screen with live action, right?
Which I, that's just funny side note of anybody doesn't know that's a really racist Disney movie that they pulled and you can't find anymore. But so he says that, but then he's like, but this he's like using the stop animation on that.
You put the live people and it makes the creatures look real. And he's like, just like it would have been in real life. And I was like, come on, you know, these weren't real, right? Like, this didn't, this is not a documentary.
Yeah, I referred to Pegasus as a person earlier. Yeah, that's true. You did. So, man. But yeah, I thought it was, it was pretty funny that review. I was surprised they both liked it. And they, they were like, they were like, go see this and Raiders of the Lost Ark was coming out that year they knew that but they
hadn't reviewed it yet. And they were like, this is a good one. We know we've got a lot of epic films like Raiders coming out later, but they're like, they recommended going to watch this one. So, I mean, at the time, I mean, I loved it.
Yeah, I did too. Like the parts that were supposed to be funny as a kid, I found them funny. So honestly, I mean, I think it holds up only because you can look back at it and be like, for what it was what it was spelled. Yes, I would say.
Yeah, because the nostalgia makes it to where you can watch it. Would you watch it just to watch it? If we didn't, if we weren't doing it for this podcast, would you just like on a normal day?
Yeah, I don't know if I would, like if I called it on television, I might watch a little bit or it's like one of my kids put it in or something. But my thing is, is like, I feel like it holds up for what it is as a somewhat entertaining movie.
But if you really look into some of it, there are parts of it that don't and we've alluded to that. Like, what else to deal with the scorpions? Why is Percy is such an idiot? Why does Zeus have to have sex with everything?
But you know, but the thing with like Zeus sleeping with everything and Percy is being an idiot and all that like, that's what the, like the mythology.
Yeah, like people. Yeah, that's the source material. They don't have to deal with that.
So it's not like you're coming against the source material.
Yeah, but there's no story if you don't.
I understand. So I would say that, I mean, I think in a lot of ways, it does.
I don't think it's awful. I don't think it's unwatchable.
You know, the story's got some holes in it that I didn't notice as a kid, but you know, you can gloss over some of that.
But if you want to pop some popcorn and sit down and be entertained. Yeah.
So as usual, Amanda and I are kind of impressed with it. Brad, go ahead and tear it to shreds.
I don't, I don't think it holds up. I don't think it's.
I think it's, I think it's boring as shit. It's way too long. The acting is horrible.
Oh, yeah.
So, I mean, yeah, I know, but it's, it's, I don't think there's no funny parts at all.
The funny, the thing that tries to be like, no, it's not funny. It's bad. It's worth.
It's not even night court funny. Oh my God.
I don't know. I don't know if there was any part that were parts put in that were meant to be kind of humorous, but it was not meant to be a funny.
No, I know that, but the parts that are meant to be humorous are not humorous to me.
They all part.
Maybe something year old man, of course not.
But I'm reviewing it now as a 40 something year old man. I can't go back to like eight year old self.
Okay.
The whole point of the podcast is does it hold up to today's.
And like, I'm not, I won't even, I won't knock it to the stop animation all that. I think that's still cool.
Yeah.
Some of the special effects short, but at the time, I mean, they were cool. They like, they did a really good job with what they had as far as I'm.
Yeah. Okay.
But then again, this did come out after Star Wars, and I would say that Star Wars looks a lot better.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, Star Wars.
They, they created the technology to make the effects. I mean, we're talking about only three years later.
Yeah. And this, I mean, Ray Harryhausen was doing, he'd been doing special effects for 20 years.
Right. So, I mean, you know, you got to.
Although it's like Star Wars doesn't have any like.
Non human sized creep, like, you know, all the other special effects is, you know, mostly every month. Yeah, pretty much.
It's, you know, it's a models and stuff like that. They don't, there was no big creature.
I mean, there are a couple of puppets and stuff, I guess.
But that's after that. I was going to say, I'm actually going to argue against myself and say the Star Wars had the cantila.
Yeah, but that's mostly just people in costumes. You know what I mean? People in costumes.
Okay. All right. So that's what I'm saying. Like that was that there was no.
They didn't try to make a full like Satan like looking person with a tail like you like make a stop animation character and merge it with live action. So they didn't, they didn't.
No, that was no Tim Curry is darkness.
Look better.
Better. Yeah. So one, one thing I will say that pleasantly surprised me about this movie was there not there wasn't as much creepiness between Perseus and Andromeda as I thought there was going to be.
Right. There was no rape like no weird like, yeah, and he's for hair. Beast mass. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like there was going to be more like I just wasn't.
Yeah, there was no beast creepy beast master. I'm going to throw you down the dirt and your mind now. It was dry hump you for a little bit. Yeah.
The damn field was worse. Yeah. Yeah. It was good. It was good. Yeah. It was. There was only a little bit of that. And I mean, the rapey, the rapey scale was low. It was very low.
Right. That was definitely, yeah, there was no, no creams, no real misogynistic. I mean, really the most. And I don't even know you call that the most like was what he just left her. And basically that was just to say, hey, listen, don't need to come with us kind of thing.
Well, yeah, it was a for trying to protect her. He was like, you go without you. It wasn't like, stay here. You're a girl. And then he ran off.
Yeah. God, he's got a flying horse and some special shit. I mean, in this defense. Yeah. He's the only one that came back. Yeah. So I'll give him that. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was pleasantly surprised.
It was really low on the rapey scale. Yeah. Yeah, it was. And I was, I was pleasantly surprised by the boobies. I forgot about that.
I mean, I forgot that there was two parts. I mean, I'll give it, I'll give it an eight on the blue on the, no, it's the jug scale, the jug scale.
It's a solid eight on that, I think.
Four sets of breasts. I'll give it four. I'm going to give it four sets of breasts and
I will have the jug scale. I'll have the rape scale.
No, Brock's, no, Brock's is the jug scale. He's the one who said it. I didn't say that. That's like the jug scale. What do you got Brad? I got child sacrifice. We're.
We're over one over one of the child sacrifice on this one.
And rape. In general, I mean, I felt like it's an entertaining movie, not the best movie. Right.
I think your kids would like it if you wanted to show it to the kids, but I wouldn't.
Yeah, I mean, I've been, I'm saying, if you're, I don't know, I'm assuming someone, we don't know, we'll be listening to us eventually at some point, who has kids who hasn't shown them.
Hey, we're at a, hey, we're at 31 downloads right now. So, yeah.
So that's, we only have two out. Yeah, we got to figure out when we want to release a polter gas, but I guess we should say before we, before we end this, I'm assuming we're getting close to.
We're like hour and a half. I'm talking about clash of the Titans. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, for the record, no Titans in this movie. Yeah, there's no clash of Titan. Yeah, bullshit. Yeah, that's the fucking movie title is bullshit.
Okay, let's, let's give them, because they call the dude so the Titan in the movie they do. That's not accurate. And they call the Kraken is a type, but I guess they fights. I guess technically they do fight at the end.
They're big, but the actual Titans were the precursor to the gods. So it should be a clash of the monsters or something or the clash of the Titans does so better. It is more.
It should have been, it should have been Kraken V Medusa.
Percy is versus the monsters.
It should have a Zeus is an a hole.
As whole gods and the kids that they father.
Yeah, that's that's a good one too. So anyway, all right, well, Brad, do you want to run down our social media bullshit.
Well, yeah, sure, you can.
You can find us on Facebook by just searching for.
Does this hold up and then we're on Twitter at.
Does it hold up does it hold up? What did I say?
This is this? I did say this. All right, does it hold up? I, Jesus, we came to get our social media right.
Yeah, fucking research it. Look for pinky pie.
And yeah, we're on Twitter at our Twitter handle is at hold does.
And again, it's pinky pie and you can find, I mean, if you're listening to this, you must have found the podcast at some point, but I guess I don't know why people say that all the time I guess what a podcast tell you they're on other podcast stuff like you've already found it.
You know, maybe you don't know if you're listening on like it's for the psychic.
All right, well, we're on, I mean, we're on Apple podcast. We're on Spotify and we're on Stitcher. So we have a friendster account.
Yeah, we're on friendster and our email address is at does it hold up at prodigy.com and.
We've got a web crawler and search.
And we've got a patreon if you give it a dollar episode, we'll be sending out 153 hours at AOL CDs.
Right to burning. No, no, I'm going to make a t-shirt. Oh, right. We're going to make it.
Well, we don't have that set up yet but I guess we'll set that up to the first person that gives us dollar.
We'll get a t-shirt that says thanks for paying for Brock's episode of night court.
Assuming we actually released that horrible episode.
At least that we put the effort in everyone. I listen if I had to listen to it then the rest of these listeners have to listen to it.
And I will say that if you're listening to this podcast, this, this episode, and you got through the night court episode.
Bravo, that's a round of applause. Thank you. Thank you for sticking with us.
If you went to the next one after that, you're awesome.
Yeah, we should put that up front in the beginning of this session.
You didn't delete the podcast.
No, we should. Yeah, we should have said in the beginning of this one, if you made it through night court or decide to skip it, we understand and think.
All right, take care.
See you soon.
Bye.