[ Music ]
>> A fucking clown.
[ Laughter ]
>> It wasn't afraid of clowns until this movie.
[ Music ]
>> So now we're just talking.
We can just talk.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah, we can.
>> That's why I have to do the intro.
>> Yes, okay.
>> Okay.
[ Coughing ]
>> Ola.
Okay, so this is "Does It Hold Up?"
The podcast dedicated to potentially ruining your childhood
and all of your fond memories that happened
before Mom and Dad were divorced.
>> Yes.
[ Laughter ]
>> That's going to burn some people.
>> That was even better.
[ Laughter ]
>> Oh my God, I'm going to write that down.
Give me a pen.
Brad, give me a pen.
>> Back before.
[ Laughter ]
>> Here's my dick pick then.
Hold on.
>> Yes.
>> Back before Mom discovered whiskey.
>> No.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah, so I'm Brock.
>> I'm Brad.
>> I'm Amanda, and I'm writing down the better intro.
>> Oh, good.
[ Laughter ]
>> Remember that for posterity.
Too bad we're not recording it.
Oh, wait.
>> We're --
>> Yeah.
So --
>> So we're on to --
>> Somebody lead it.
>> Do we want to say episode three,
or just want to say the next episode?
>> I mean, you can say --
I mean, you already did, so --
>> Yeah, okay.
[ Laughter ]
>> We can cut that out.
>> Yeah.
We'll kill --
>> Thank you.
>> Try to put it together, Brad.
>> We'll correct that post.
>> Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep.
[ Laughter ]
>> And we just finished watching --
yeah, we can't speak.
We just finished watching the 1982 horror classic.
I feel like we can call it classic.
Poltergeist.
>> Do you feel like it was horror?
>> What would you call it?
>> I think --
>> I mean, that's what it was originally.
>> Okay.
The '80s horror felt like --
>> Like it had a plot and it wasn't all jump pairs?
>> No.
The '80s horror felt like Michael Myers now.
>> That's a slasher.
>> Yeah, this slasher.
>> Okay, you're right.
>> No, this was --
>> To me, horror had multiple branches.
>> They were the slasher picks.
This was more of like a supernatural ghost story.
>> Horror was smarter.
>> Like the shining.
>> Horror like shining or like alien or --
>> The changeling.
>> Yeah.
>> That kind of --
>> Yeah, it wasn't --
>> It wasn't blood and guts.
>> Yeah, I'm going to correct myself.
>> Yeah.
>> Slasher films were --
>> It was not blood and guts.
>> Were pretty crueggers, stuff like that.
>> Unlike some recent horror movies, it wasn't all about
just shit popping up in front of you and scaring you.
There were --
>> Yeah, this was --
>> There were a handful of jump scares in there.
>> I feel like this was a better thought out.
>> I feel like our last one now, our last one --
>> Our last --
>> Our last episode, we did --
>> Was --
>> Legend.
>> Say it, Brad.
>> We watched Legend.
We did not -- we did not at the end.
So we have to make sure we do this at the end.
We did not get -- we didn't get through the holdup because of
the way it worked.
Like --
>> We hadn't seen it.
>> Two of us hadn't seen it.
>> Yeah.
>> But we all grew up on this.
>> We all grew up on this one.
So we got to make sure we go through it at the end.
>> Yeah.
>> We have to make sure we answer the question.
>> But I will say that I feel like --
>> You can't answer it yet, Amanda.
>> Oh, sorry.
I'm just saying, I feel like y'all saw it more times.
>> Yeah, but you at least saw it.
>> I feel like it's probably true for any movie.
>> Okay.
>> We turned it to binge on movies.
You know, we zero in on a movie.
>> I was the outlier.
>> So you use a big thing, a grandfather or mom.
>> Yes, let's wait.
>> He had a VHS and a beta.
He used to give us all the movies.
>> He had a rotating satellite dish on the roof.
>> I feel like right now I'm going to break in here.
And I'm going to say we need to take time to talk about
Pop Pop Guian.
>> That's what I'm doing right now.
I'm saying --
>> I'm just giving you a --
>> Okay.
>> That's fine.
>> So Pop Pop Guian was a movie aficionado.
>> Yes, and he used to get on a video store and he had a VHS
and a beta max and he'd get the VHS and take them on a beta max
because he said beta max is better.
That's what we had as a kid growing up.
>> Right.
Can I ask you to rewind because y'all are talking about
like beta and all that.
You and Brock had like beta max and everything before anybody
else didn't.
>> No, we had it at the same time.
>> I feel like you're Pop Pop.
>> You can feel like whatever you want.
I'm telling you how it was.
>> Okay.
I'm just saying.
>> He wasn't going to Japan and bringing back electronic.
>> No, okay.
>> But I still feel like your character was really good at
keeping you guys a breast technology.
>> Definitely early.
>> And definitely he gave us the beta max.
I remember he gave our parents the beta max saying it was a
better technology.
That's what we wanted.
So he used to videotape.
He'd go down this.
He had both and he'd go down VHS and beta max and he'd go down
to the video store and run them in VHS and then tape them on
to beta max horse and we had.
>> Or tape them right off HBO.
>> All right off HBO.
>> But we had those too.
But we had a collection of beta max that was a couple hundred
tapes.
>> A couple hundred tapes.
>> Two movies per tape because you can only get two.
>> Right, okay.
>> Maybe, maybe, yeah.
>> You could almost get three of them.
>> Well, but then eventually he realized his error in his ways
that the VHS was better for storage wise.
>> Well, and also because beta max just kind of went away.
>> Yeah, they also went away.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> He couldn't get it anymore.
>> So then we got VHS and then he did those four.
Yeah, we had, yeah, it was over a hundred tapes.
>> I remember we labeled them and we had like a legal pad with
all the listings on it.
>> We had a note.
Yeah, exactly.
>> Pete's Dragon was on before Jaws.
I don't know how he did that one.
It's like he got a fast forward through Pete's Dragon to get to
Jaws.
>> I remember there was like, I remember a secret.
And it was like, it looks like tape number one if it was like
secret in and I wish, I wish I remember what else is on there.
>> I would like to interject right here and say that clearly
Brock and Brad had a grandfather who was way abreast of the
technology.
>> He just like movies.
>> But so.
>> He loved movies.
He loved movies.
>> Right now, anybody who's listening to this, they can be
like, oh no, my grandfather did the exact same thing and recorded
all of these movies and put them all these types of tape.
I want you to please, please email any of us because I'm
saying, because I'm saying that you guys were way ahead of the
car because of pop-up.
>> I'm going to, yeah, we need to set up a Gmail address.
>> We have to do that.
>> Anyway.
>> Well, we should just say it.
>> I will.
>> Yeah.
>> I'm saying that their grandfather was way ahead of the car.
>> It'll be in the description.
>> Somewhere.
>> To be determined.
>> I'm going to correct you and say that we just had access to
lots of movies that other people didn't.
Because other people like bought them and things like that.
And we didn't buy movies for a long time.
>> Right.
>> But I actually think that your grandfather was ahead of the
car if it was, like, recording things and providing them to,
okay, anyway, it doesn't matter.
>> It's fine.
You can think that.
>> Right.
>> It was just, it was when videotapes blew up.
>> Yep.
>> Was when he was in his prime.
And you could go to video stores.
There was a video store in every corner.
>> I think the pop-up was ahead of that.
>> We never got any good movies though.
>> Right.
>> What do you mean by Thanksgiving?
>> Wait.
What do you do?
>> You need the ones in the back room behind the curtain?
>> Oh, my God.
Brad.
>> All right.
>> Hey, that's your dirty mind.
Say that.
>> I didn't say that.
>> Got all this out.
>> Yeah.
Mr. Legend is just a big sex rope.
>> Right.
>> What is a big sex rope?
>> All right.
So starting over.
>> All right.
All right.
What?
Yeah.
>> Poltergeist.
>> Yeah.
So eight minutes in, we're going to go ahead and reel it back in.
>> Reel it back in the poltergeist.
>> Not a sex movie, despite what Brad says.
>> Unlike our previous, unlike our previous two.
There was weed.
And there was liquor.
There was a good amount of liquor.
>> There's a lot of fantasy.
But it is.
>> No movies.
>> There was a lot of liquor.
I think what happened in the movie.
>> No movies.
>> There should have been a lot of liquor.
>> Brad.
>> There should have been a lot of movies.
>> I'm going to say it every time though.
>> You know what?
I didn't do any research.
So I don't have a Brad moment.
>> All right.
So Natatas.
No titties.
No.
No drugs.
No.
I mean, how far are you?
>> There's the 34 year old Joe Beth Williams.
>> Joe Beth Williams is straight in it.
She does.
>> Amazing.
>> Yeah.
Crayton Nelson looks out of his league.
>> He looks like you did 50.
>> Honestly, he looks like a regular guy.
If they remade it, it would be.
>> He's great.
I think I've always made it.
>> He'd have the shirt off and he'd have the six pack.
>> Yeah.
>> It would be like Chris Hemsworth.
>> Yeah.
>> It would be.
>> Nothing on the floor.
>> No, no, no, no.
>> Whatever his name wasn't here.
Steve Freeling.
I'm not sure how I feel about that.
>> Totally down for Thor.
But he's not your every man.
>> All right.
So we're going to walk through with this.
>> Yeah.
Instead of parenting movie.
>> Yeah.
Really.
There's a lot of.
>> There's summed up in two words.
Bad parents.
>> All right.
Brad, they just.
>> Well, no.
Past two episodes, what we've done is we've tried to stumble through the plot.
And that hasn't gone well because we forget things.
We're going to be able to figure out what we're going to do.
Let me finish.
Which is displaying static following a sign off.
We can go back to Brad, stop talking.
The following night while the freeling sleep.
Oh, we're too far in already.
There's a paragraph.
Can I get to the end of the paragraph?
Brad, I already got stuff to talk about.
All right, fine.
What do you got to talk about?
No, no, go ahead.
I just want to -- the following night while the freeling sleep,
Carol Ann fixates on the television set as it transmits static again.
Suddenly, a ghostly white hand jumpscare.
Emerges from the television after which --
No, that's one of the few.
Suddenly, a ghostly white hand emerges from the television.
After which time, there's a violent earthquake as the shaking subsides.
Carol Ann announces there he --
Okay, all right.
First of all, that synopsis is wrong for those parts.
It's Wikipedia.
How could it be wrong?
Because it's just brief.
Yeah, but there's no earthquake.
They think it's an earthquake.
Nobody else agrees.
He's on the phone.
He's like, "We had an earthquake here."
Okay, it was a house quick.
A house quick.
Honey.
Yeah, and he's like, "Wait, nobody else had it?"
And then he's like, "Okay."
I was trying to point --
I think the point is bad parenting.
Is that they think it's a house quick or an earthquake.
All right.
No, but we skipped the best opening maybe in a movie ever.
All right.
They don't talk about the guy on the bike with the beer.
All right.
Well, fill us in.
So there is a gentleman carrying a case of beer.
It's not a case of beer.
Like we all think of in a cardboard box now.
It is four case -- six packs in a cardboard flat.
Yeah.
He's carrying on a bicycle for whatever.
It's not even like a BMX bike.
It's a little --
Yeah, he's on a little bike.
He's on a little bike riding these cans around.
For whatever he's --
He's sweaty.
He's --
I --
Yeah, we've determined he had a DWI.
I feel like he's had a DWI.
He had a DWI.
Yeah.
He can't --
He can't even drive in the neighborhood.
He's so scared.
Yeah.
So he's riding --
He's --
He's riding his --
And then the neighborhood kids know that he's --
Stupid.
-- a total --
-- blush.
-- and they can mess it up.
So they --
Then he's riding his little --
His kids BMX bike.
Maybe.
Yeah.
He's like, "They race out, race, uh, remote control cars in front of them and cross right in front of them."
Which then causes him to --
Drop the beer.
-- wreck the bike and drop the beer.
-- Maybe drop the beer.
Which then all --
Every can of beer explodes.
-- But not -- not explode.
-- It explodes.
Sorry.
-- Gets like pinholes in.
Every can of beer is a puncture hole.
It's every can of beer.
-- It's like he drops 46.
He drops 46 cans of beer.
Right.
And lines arrive.
Right.
But then he decides to run the house with, like, two of these six packs.
-- As they are spilling --
-- Actively squirting beer.
-- His squirting beer, like, as, like, mighty python, like, it's not a flesh wound.
Like, he's like --
-- Yeah.
He's -- and he runs --
-- Seriously.
-- The eldest odors in the kitchen.
She yells at him.
He keeps going.
-- And then they're in there watching football.
Saints versus Rams, by the way.
-- Yeah.
Los Angeles Rams.
-- Los Angeles Rams, yes.
-- Before they went to --
Well, before they went to St. Louis and then came back.
-- They are the Los Angeles Rams, yes.
It's just before they went -- yeah, exactly.
-- Anybody listening to show up with me to Brad's house with beer spray everywhere.
-- And I won't let you on the fucking house.
-- No, no, we're coming in.
-- And if you're a decent person, you wouldn't take them into the house.
-- No, no, we're coming in.
-- This guy runs in the fucking house with the beer spray.
-- We're going in.
-- Put no one in.
-- But no one says anything.
And then, this is a good scene.
This is a good scene.
Because then all of a sudden, they're watching the football game, even though they don't --
-- And then --
-- they don't care about the beer spray and all over the place.
But most of the football game, which is about to -- there's a touchdown pass about to be thrown,
switches over to Mr. Rogers.
I'm not -- I mean, I'm not knocking Mr. Rogers.
It's not about him.
But then they're like, what the fuck?
And then --
-- Who's this guy?
One of them actually says, who doesn't know who Mr. Rogers is?
-- I'm with you.
-- In the 80s, yeah.
-- Yeah.
-- Right?
-- Yeah, I know.
The guy in the Fisherds hat.
-- Yeah, the guy looks like Bob Denver.
-- You thought, who this?
No, no.
[laughter]
-- So they agree.
-- So then he's -- and then so Craig T. Nelson switches the pack.
And then he gets switched back.
And he's like, oh, my -- me and my neighbor on the same channel.
-- And you think -- is the TV haunted?
-- Ooh.
-- Well, no.
-- I didn't think that first.
I mean, is that what you thought?
I never thought that.
I always thought it was --
-- I remember initially thinking, oh, I wonder if -- because Carol Ann had already talked to the television at this point.
-- No.
-- Hadn't she?
-- No, this is the first thing.
-- Oh, that's like super early.
-- Okay.
Well, I mean, you know it's a ghost story.
So I think there was --
-- I was 11 or 12 when I first saw this movie.
There was probably a part of me that's like, is that like the haunting thing?
But then they quickly established.
-- I remember thinking, and then so he reaches out the window and apparently his neighbor and him had the same remote
and they're changing each other's TV.
I remember thinking as a kid, I'm like, we used to go see your grandpa.
We were watching this inner grandparent's house who lives in a room home.
This never happened.
I was like, this is bullshit.
But they had those awesome remotes.
They had like the two big buttons on them.
I know, but did you see those remotes?
Yeah.
It had to establish that not only is --
-- That the neighbor's an asshole.
-- Craig T. Nelson, Steve Freeling, a funny guy.
But yeah, the neighbor's a dick.
They had to establish that the neighbor -- because that comes up later.
-- It really did.
-- At the end, it's a good payoff.
Yeah.
It was pretty good.
[laughter]
I mean, they really set that up.
It's such a great payoff.
The neighbor's a dick.
But so, yeah, the fucking asshole on his bike.
Yeah.
So, I mean, they're living rooms spelled like beer for the rest of the night.
-- Asshole on the bike?
Not asshole.
Neighbor with their house.
-- They're all house because he walked into the bathroom.
You think the paranormal is located?
-- Everybody's an asshole but Craig T. Nelson.
-- When the paranormal people showed up for the first time, that must have been the first thought.
This place reeks of beer.
Because people are drunk.
I mean, we're going to slide across the sky to the floor, but damn, it's going to smell like beer.
[laughter]
Fred House in the fact.
-- You know.
-- So, continuing the obviously deficient synopsis.
-- So, yeah, they failed the mention that part.
So, okay, so we do that and then we do the whole, like, they're here.
The house quake happens.
-- Wait, wait, hold on.
I feel like we're missing something else.
We miss the whole scene with the teenager.
-- The whole scene with the teenager.
-- In the beginning, like, they haven't...
The house quake is at as before they do the...
-- Okay.
-- Should I read this and then we'll, like, crack track and some of the missing scenes?
-- Well, no, no, but I'm saying we're in a part where they remember they're all getting ready for breakfast.
-- Yeah.
-- The chairs, they don't mention that.
-- They mentioned bizarre events and they continue.
They list some of those things.
-- Okay, so, okay.
-- It's a brief synopsis.
-- That's a really brief, like, yeah.
-- So, did you want to talk about when the creepy construction workers?
-- The 15-year-old daughter.
-- 15-year-old daughter.
-- Yes, she's 15.
-- They're digging the pool in the backyard and then she gives the whole fuck you...
-- Does that have a name though?
-- I don't know if the arm thing means either.
-- I mean, she obviously gave him the fuck you, the bird, but...
-- It is ripitude.
-- And they're all, like...
-- No.
-- And, like, parents are just watching them.
-- Right?
-- I mean...
-- And they're like, "Oh, that's our 15-year-old daughter.
Yeah, she's hot."
-- Well, the mom's watching and she's like...
-- No.
-- I was like, "What the fuck is that?"
And also, you see, the construction workers, they're adults.
Why are they...
-- Like, old adults.
Okay, I get why old adults would be hitting on young people because...
-- Not food.
-- No, there are...
-- Uh...
-- There are...
I was gonna say, gentlemen, let me show it.
But there are men that really, like, young women, young girls.
-- They're called priests.
-- We're not gonna talk about this.
-- Technically, what they were doing was...
-- Opusia.
-- Yeah.
-- Oh, for sure.
-- No, I'm not...
-- She's way under 18.
-- Oh, I'm not...
-- And even if they think she's a senior in high school, she's still 17.
-- Yes.
-- So, if...
-- I'm not...
-- And one of them...
-- I have not defending those men at all.
-- One of them?
The actor was Billy from Predator.
So...
-- But...
-- It's been that out there.
-- No, they're not doing that.
And that's not a real...
I don't understand why it's in the movie because that's not a real thing.
-- It is a real thing.
-- I'm not...
Okay, listen, if you have a pool being dug to your backyard and you're 15 to 18 to 20,
they're not gonna hit on your daughter.
-- Yes.
-- You know what that is?
That is actually something that doesn't hold up.
That's an 80s...
-- It's an 80s sexual humor.
-- Yeah.
-- That if it happened today, the cops would be called.
And those guys would be fired probably from that job and potentially from that company.
-- I...
-- If it was witnessed by more than one person.
-- Okay.
-- I just can't see what happened.
-- Do you think that would happen?
-- Today.
-- Yeah.
-- You think a 15-year-old walking outside...
-- It's not so much that it would happen.
Do you think that the reaction would be what it was in the movie, which is the parents laughing it off?
-- No.
-- That's what I'm saying.
-- Okay.
-- That's what I'm saying.
-- Okay.
-- I'm not saying it doesn't happen.
Guys, today are the same.
There are disgusting guys now as there have been forever.
-- I still don't...
I still don't think that...
I don't think on a construction site any residential house behind there...
I don't think that's happening.
-- I don't think it would happen in the open.
-- I would hope not.
-- I don't think it would happen.
-- I mean, I'd be a night.
-- I think it might happen if...
-- I'd be a night.
-- If the parents couldn't see what was happening, then I think it would happen.
I don't think it would happen where it did where the mom's like, "Oh, boys being boys."
-- All right.
This is supposed to be...
All right, let's...
That's horrible.
-- No, but that's the sort of thing that I think we're going to find with a lot of 80s movies that we do is the sexual humor is...
You.
It just...
-- Right.
-- It's gross.
-- Right.
-- You know, in fact, but that was just...
It was just funny.
There was no point to that scene.
-- Yeah.
-- There was no point except...
-- It didn't...
-- It's kind of funny.
-- It wouldn't, if they did a remake, that scene wouldn't exist.
-- Yeah.
-- They did a remake.
The daughter, the 15-year-old daughter, wouldn't be in the movie.
She has no point.
-- She might not be.
-- She has no point.
-- Yes.
The only point she has, she has the funny scene where the dad walks in her and says, "Good night, Dana."
-- Yeah, yeah.
You're on the phone.
Yeah.
I mean, because honestly, she is hit on by construction workers and implies that she is going with her boyfriend and having sex at a hotel.
-- Yeah.
That's all she does.
-- That is her story.
-- That's her story.
It's useless in some ways.
So anyway, so continuing the plot synopsis here.
Bizarre events, let's putting it lightly, occur the following day.
A drinking glass of milk spontaneously breaks.
Silverware bends and furniture moves of its own accord.
The phenomena seem benign at first, but quickly begin to intensify.
That night, a gnarled backyard tree comes along and grabs Robbie through the bedroom window.
-- Way too far ahead.
-- No, I know.
But just let me get to the end of the goddamn sentence before you interrupt me.
-- We're just going to keep cutting Brad off.
-- All right, sorry, sorry, Bob.
-- No, that's, you can see, like, these are short little paragraphs.
-- You need to cut her off.
-- We're going to have a stop, Brad, in a Brad moment.
-- All right, go ahead.
-- What I'm saying is, like, that's a huge, huge change.
-- Oh, I know, they completely leave out, like, Carol Anne sliding her ass across the floor.
-- Well, I'm saying we should talk about it.
-- Go ahead.
-- I'm saying you, you have the, you have, I can't see that.
-- Okay, so that's a valid point.
So when I get to the, okay, so go ahead. I'll just, I'll just pick up where I left on.
-- Right.
-- I'm just telling you, because I'm looking at it, that's kind of how I'm trying to break it down.
But jump in when you hear what you want to talk about.
-- That's what I was trying to do when I got yelled at.
-- I just wanted to finish the goddamn sentence.
-- Well, the goddamn sentence didn't even finish.
-- There used to be a Brad moment part of the podcast.
-- Well, no, hold on.
-- Sorry.
-- All right, so...
-- Go, Brad.
-- That's how they describe the four...
-- Bizarre events.
-- Okay, bizarre events.
-- Yes.
-- So, his glass breaks.
-- Yeah, in the silverware bins, which is, that's weird.
-- And then the kids go to school, and then all of a sudden...
-- Which is a bizarre event, I would say.
-- Then there's a sliding face.
-- But the furniture stacking itself spontaneously, and...
-- And the husband coming home to the wife, going, "Oh my God, you gotta come in and see this."
-- This is my major point, where this is...
-- Total bullshit bad parenting.
-- She fucking...
-- Draws a circle.
It's like fucking sorry.
-- All right.
-- The game's sorry.
She has a circle...
-- I said that very Canadian.
-- Sorry.
-- I did.
-- Sorry.
-- But she has it drawn out where, like, you landed the circle and you slide your thing across.
She has a circle.
She slides it down.
And then she has the kid wear a helmet and put it on.
No, I'm sorry.
As soon as I could prove the chair slid across the floor, I'd be like, "Honey, I'm at the motel six.
I'll see you there."
-- Okay, but...
I gotta give it to Joe Beth.
Well, like, she did...
-- What's her name?
-- Diane.
-- Thank you.
I'm sorry.
-- Color Diane.
-- Diane.
I gotta give it to Diane.
But she did the research.
She was like, "Well, y'all..."
-- What Amanda means is that she, like, she...
-- She did it scientifically.
Like, it always starts here.
It always ends here.
And it goes in this direction.
-- Right.
-- I'm sorry, though, but you feel that?
-- No, I was still...
-- That really happened to you.
You...
-- Brad.
-- What the fuck out?
-- I think Brad's a pussy.
[laughter]
-- You wouldn't get out?
-- I'm not saying that.
-- No.
-- I'm just saying that...
-- I would be the fuck out of that house.
I'd be like...
I would be up here.
There was a Hampton in up here.
I'd be like...
I mean, it's just before, but like...
I'd be like, "Hey, I'm at the Hampton in.
The fucking house has sliding chairs.
It's fucking haunted.
I'm going to burn to the ground.
I'm selling it.
I don't give a shit.
I'm going to pay.
I'm ready for insurance.
-- All right, so that's...
-- There's a crazy guy in room 304.
-- That's where Brad is.
That's where Brad is.
-- That's where Brad is.
Brock and I...
-- That's bullshit.
I'll be out of here, though.
-- Listen, you go ahead and shut it down, Brad.
-- Right now, we're standing...
-- Okay.
-- 'Cause so you...
-- We're podcasting...
-- If something slid down this bar...
-- We're podcasting...
-- You would walk away from this house.
-- In my bar right now, in my basement right now,
I've got a 10-foot bar, and if something...
I have some stuff at the end of the bar.
If something just all of a sudden slid towards us,
even a foot, I'd be like, "We're done."
We're out of here.
I grab the kids.
I tell them to get their kids.
I'd be like, "We're out.
This place is dead to me.
I'll be done."
-- All right.
So Brad...
-- Well, not everybody can do that.
-- Brad needs to be quiet.
-- I don't...
-- Brad needs to be quiet.
-- I can't miss you on your walkway.
-- Brad's gonna say I would try to sell this to some sucker,
but I'm out of here.
I'm not coming back.
But, I mean, you don't even believe in that shit.
So why would you be afraid of it?
-- Because I don't believe it.
And it would actually fucking hit me.
If something did move, if something fucking did move,
then I know it's fucking legit.
Because I don't believe in that.
But if something slid across the bar...
-- Right now.
-- I mean, you'd have to have, like, I mean...
-- You'd just grab shit and run.
-- See, I was grabbing anything.
I've got everything on me I need.
I got car keys, I get the kids, I'm out.
-- Okay, so we need to be dead.
-- You wouldn't give it any thought, like,
could this be...
Could there be a scientific or rational explanation to this?
-- I don't know.
-- You would just immediately say...
-- No, that's not...
No, 'cause there's...
Come on.
Okay, we've got...
-- I'm not saying it wouldn't be...
-- All right, all right.
-- Or just to set the scene, everybody.
Looking down at the end of my bar,
we're sitting on the one end.
At the end of my bar, there is a mini eagles...
-- There's, like, a Samsung TV, and, like, a...
-- There's a mini eagles...
-- A corner hole thing...
-- And an eagle slacker that has all the uniforms on it.
It's a sign.
-- Super real.
-- If one of...
And there's now bottle wine that Brock just put down there.
-- Okay.
-- All of those...
If anything slid anywhere...
-- Right now.
-- Well, Brock just moved that.
I could see that.
That's not...
-- For real.
-- Does that happen?
-- If that fucking happened, I'm done.
-- You grabbed your kids and got...
-- I'm done.
-- Really?
-- Come on!
-- I need you to...
-- I don't want it slid five feet down.
-- Brad.
-- I think if it did it once...
-- Brad, I need you to...
-- I wouldn't drop everything and write it.
-- Brad.
-- I think if it did it consistently...
-- Are you done?
-- Would you stay here?
-- Yes.
-- Okay.
-- We'll finish the podcast, but...
-- Can we?
-- Well, shit happens.
-- Brad.
-- If this was my house, I don't believe.
-- Brad.
-- Would you sleep here tomorrow?
-- Yes.
-- Brad.
-- No way.
-- Now, if that wine bottle...
-- Because I'm telling you right now because...
-- You keep...
-- I'm telling you, my thing is,
if it happened, then I know something's fucking real.
-- If it happened once...
-- Why would it happen?
Why would a bottle of slime be?
-- It doesn't make any sense.
But if it only happened once, you would seriously drop everything and go.
-- I'm gone.
-- Nope.
-- Okay.
See, now, if it can...
-- I'm not saying it wouldn't come back.
I'm not saying that.
But I would not sleep here tonight.
-- If it happened a lot, like it did in the movie, and it was predicted...
-- In the movie, I would not.
-- That would be weird.
-- In the movie, I would not be like, "Hey, kids, let's do this.
It's a fucking ride."
Like, she does.
She gets the helmet on the kid.
-- But she did it herself, and she thought it was interesting.
-- Yes, right?
No, I wouldn't do that either.
-- Not with you, Brock.
-- But they don't know it's ghosts.
We know it's ghosts.
-- What the fuck do they think it is?
-- I don't know.
But now, if that wine bottle, instead of sliding across the bar,
-- What am I kidding?
-- flew at my head.
-- Here's my thing.
-- That to me would be different.
-- I guess...
-- Because then you're, like, danger.
-- I'm looking at a firm, Craig T. Nelson's perspective.
-- Yes.
-- He comes in.
-- Oh, he's freaked out.
You can tell.
-- He's freaked out.
-- He's totally freaked out.
They slide Carolina down, and then she's talking about how she slid down.
-- What it felt like.
-- Diane's talking about how it was falling.
And I'd be like, "Hey, that's all great."
Like, I'll go on a hotel.
-- But he does, okay, he gets home.
It's late, and he says...
-- I don't give a shit.
It's late.
The hotel, the...
-- But he says nobody else go in the kitchen.
-- Yep.
-- He wants to sleep on it.
And figure out what the hell is going on.
-- I would sleep on it.
-- That would be bad.
-- I would sleep in.
-- I'm with you, babe.
-- You don't have to sell the house.
I'm just saying burn the place down.
-- That's what you actually did say.
-- You did say the place you're dead to me.
And I think that's a bit of an extreme...
-- Well, it would be dead to me.
-- Now, the rest of the shit that happens, which I'll go into,
I think I mentioned briefly.
-- Here's the thing.
-- Crazy apart.
-- As far as the movie is, I'm the fucking right one.
-- I would fucking be right.
I would be right.
-- Yes, in movie, Bill.
-- In the real world.
-- Probably wouldn't be right most of the time.
-- In the real world, that's not happening.
That bottles, because it doesn't fucking exist.
-- But it could happen.
Spoiler, poltergeist don't exist, nor do ghosts.
-- I'm good.
-- God, I want...
-- So, I'm fine.
-- I agree.
I wish that was true.
Like, that there were ghosts and poltergeist, I know.
-- Well, you could wish.
-- But...
-- All you want, but...
-- Yeah, they don't exist.
-- But...
-- I wish legend was a good movie.
-- [laughter]
-- MOSKY!
-- [laughter]
-- I'm going to continue with the bad plots and apples.
-- That's my first bit.
I'm sorry, Craig T. Nelson fucked up there.
-- Yeah.
-- He should say, "Hey, listen, honey."
-- But, okay.
-- Let's leave.
-- In his defense.
It goes from sliding furniture, weird things in the kitchen, and sliding furniture, to...
-- Shit!
-- That night, a gnarled backyard tree comes alive and grabs Robbie through the bedroom window,
and tries to eat him.
-- Right.
-- They don't talk about it.
-- Right.
-- That...
-- We go from...
-- No, I know.
-- That's why I'm saying I'm right.
You should fucking lie.
-- No!
-- At that point, when the tree...
-- Should've lied.
-- When the tree tries to eat you, or your son, yes, you leave.
-- They can't, though.
At this point, daughter's done.
-- But, but...
-- These daughter's done.
-- But, while Steve rescues Robbie from the tree, Carolanne is sucked into a portal that appears in her closet.
-- I want to see that.
-- The freelings realize something supernatural has occurred.
When you hear her voice emanating from the television set, that is tuned to an empty channel.
-- I want to see that movie.
I want to see Carolanne get saved.
-- Carolanne.
-- Carolanne can't be saved.
-- Wait, what?
-- Carolanne.
-- I want to see her get saved.
-- Sweet!
-- I want to see Robbie in the tree.
I want to see that movie.
-- They're like, they're like, out there talking to the tree the whole time.
[laughter]
The tree's like, where's Robbie?
[laughter]
-- That tree just burped.
[laughter]
What the hell is going on right now?
I love the explanation.
Anybody who's seen this movie, the tree is this gnarled, nasty, dead thing.
-- And he's like, that tree's hunting.
-- That tree's got spirit and it's protecting our house.
Like he's an Indian, or Native American.
-- Like in their, like, it's not like in their way backyard.
-- They kept it, like, literally it's like three feet from their kitchen, like, from their house.
-- And it's dead.
-- It's dead. I mean, there's nothing growing on this tree.
-- And it's got a face on it.
-- The whole thing where it's like, this is a...
-- Face off.
-- Dead, gnarled.
-- No.
-- Like this is a tree that needs to be, if it's rated out.
-- Yeah. -- Okay, so.
-- All right.
-- I would have just, like, I mean, silver.
-- Robbie, I would have done in the tree, in the tree, come on.
-- I was.
-- Oh, you Brad.
-- Robbie, Robbie nearly gets eaten by the tree in Carolina's gone.
So now, like you said, Brad, they can't leave.
-- Now, they can't leave.
-- Again.
-- She's not just gone, but they can hear her.
She's somewhere.
-- No, you can't leave now. I'm not saying no, listen.
This is, no, you can't leave now.
You can send the kids away, which say, wait, they wait too long.
-- You know, it's not even, it's not even 24 hours between the spoons are bending,
and Caroline's gone.
It's not even 24 hours.
-- You're right, isn't it?
-- No, no, no.
All I'm saying is, is that just thinking about the plot.
It happens.
-- Step past.
-- And now they're stuck.
Caroline's gone.
They're stuck.
They can't leave.
They had one chance to leave, and they didn't, they didn't Brad.
They didn't.
And they did the right thing.
-- They didn't Brad.
-- So next, let's see, a group of parapsychologists from the University of California, Irving,
Dr. Lesch, Ryan, and Marty, come to the Freeling House to investigate.
They determined that the Freelings are experiencing a poltergeist intrusion.
They discover that the disturbances involve more than one ghost.
Steve also finds out, yes, Steve also finds out in an exchange with his boss, Louis Teague,
that the neighborhood is built where a cemetery was once located.
That's what it says.
I'm just reading it.
-- That's wrong.
That's wrong.
He doesn't know that yet.
-- He finds it out eventually.
He doesn't find it out right that moment, but he does find it out.
-- Yeah, but that's way ahead.
You skip the way ahead.
-- The next paragraph talks about the spiritual medium.
So they're glossing over a lot of the stuff that happens.
-- It's a synopsis.
We can go into more detail later.
-- It's a synopsis.
-- Our synopses have been reviews of the movie in its entirety.
That's not what a synopsis is.
-- Our synopses usually take about --
-- An hour.
-- Yeah, you can watch the movie and almost the amount of time it takes.
-- That's the point.
-- We can do synopsis something.
-- Synopsinese.
-- So then let's choose.
-- That's plural.
That's the plural.
-- Here we go.
After Dana and Robbie are sent away for their safety,
Les and Ryan call in Tangina Barons.
It's spiritual medium.
So Robbie is sent away by himself with the dog in a cat.
-- We can't.
But we skip the whole part.
We haven't talked about, like, they come in the house, the other people.
And they're like, this is the kids' room where she got, and she opens it up.
-- Well, no, no, before that, they're talking about, like, one guy saying, oh,
I recorded an event or a car move seven feet across the floor in, like, seven hours.
-- Seven hours in.
-- And they got the dad, like, oh, that's great.
And then he opens the door and shits just flying everywhere.
-- And here is an MTV video.
-- He pulls off a disheveled, like, has a slut.
-- Oh, he looks rough.
-- Haven't slept in, like, two weeks, like, just, like,
he, Craig C. Nelson is awesome at this.
-- I think, I think all the people in it.
-- No, I don't think, even the kids, I thought they were all good.
-- A kid's not, I mean, a kid's done better with the medium.
-- Yeah, well, she was quirky.
-- Wait, Brad.
-- Oh, did I hear Brad?
-- Was it his friend's legend?
-- You don't care for the actress?
-- I, I, just the whole, like, yeah, I just don't like you.
-- Brad.
-- You just don't like her because she's short.
-- Brad.
-- Was it as bad as legend?
-- No.
-- So, yeah, they, they go in and there's all this crazy shit happening.
Yeah, they, another thing they don't talk about is the really cool scene with the staircase,
where, like, the thing that you and I, Brad, are convinced was a woman apparition comes down the staircase.
And then they review the tape and you can see, like, people wearing hats and it's actually really cool.
-- Yeah, that's a good one.
That's good.
-- But it's, and it's, it's benign.
It's not, it's not malevolent.
-- I mean, we both said it as it was happening.
We're like, this woman come down.
I mean, it was like, it's a woman, but we can't do a woman.
And we're watching it.
And as I'm watching him, like...
-- I can see where you see where it was a woman, but maybe not.
-- And I'm like, I don't know why we, why we automatically assumed it was, but...
-- I thought she looked like she had a flowing dress.
That was what it was to me, to me personally.
-- Yeah, I don't know.
-- I mean, she didn't really even have a face.
She was human-oid.
I mean, it wasn't...
-- The doll could be proud because...
-- Oh, shit.
-- We're gonna have to bleep that out.
-- I have to bleep that out, but they had hats.
Like, when they review it, they all seem to have hats on.
Like, it was old-school, like, you know.
-- Oh, yeah, it was hats or something.
-- It looked like, like, fedoras.
-- Yeah, like, they had ever had fedoras on.
-- And that's funny because what I saw was completely different.
So...
-- What did you say?
-- Maybe that's the beauty of...
-- We were sitting, I told you, like, it looks like...
Tell me again.
-- It was...
-- They didn't hear the first one you said it the first time.
-- It looked like carousel horses.
-- Oh, that's right, yeah.
-- I just say that to her.
-- Where? Yeah.
-- No, when they were coming down the stairs.
-- The actors, when they review the tape, it looks because the...
-- To me!
-- The beam is...
-- There's a thing there.
-- There's a blob, but then it's like...
-- The original or the recorded...
-- When they were watched.
-- They were recorded.
-- Carousel horses?
-- Yeah.
-- I got that. I got that because it's a blob in the center, like a glowing blob.
Then there's like the beam out, so it looks like carousel horses.
-- Yeah, it's actually after that you see the people with the hats.
-- Yeah.
-- It's not the same time.
-- It's not the first...
-- Okay.
-- The woman at first live, they see just one thing.
-- Yep.
-- And then when they back up the tape and...
-- It's like you see the carousel horses, but then they kind of cut away.
And then when they go back, you see people looking around to me and like wearing hats.
-- And I know...
-- The hats are the carousel horses.
-- I know that I...
-- But yeah.
-- They were carousel horses all the time, like with the real hide and everything.
Anyway.
-- But yeah, that was a really cool scene.
But at that point, still, it's not malevolent.
Like, Caroline's gone, which is bad, but...
-- Right.
There's no...
-- There's just weird shit out.
Of course, when...
I guess it's Marty?
Yeah, I think it's Marty.
-- When Marty watches the steak move across the countertop and then rips his face off.
-- That...
-- But again, it's...
-- Marty, John Denver.
-- Yeah.
Well, no, different John Denver.
Not John Denver watching TV.
Paris, like, college.
-- I wish I could remember for this.
I think it's...
Actually, I know the podcast.
It's...
I was there, too.
Which is a great podcast.
They have an interview with that guy, the actor, who did that.
And he wasn't really an actor.
If I remember, he wasn't...
And they had, like, one shot with it.
With the makeup get ripped off.
-- With the makeup get ripped off.
-- And it's a good story.
-- Are we gonna have to, like, bleep through all that stuff?
-- No, I don't think we should bleep.
That's a good part.
I mean, actually...
-- If you watch that scene, it's obviously fake.
-- It is.
-- But it's still scary.
-- It is.
-- It's still good.
-- I mean, honestly, the steak, like, exploding from within and then...
-- The steak actually looks...
I think that looks pretty legit.
-- Yeah, and then...
-- I don't know how they do that.
And then when he spits the chicken wing out
and it's got maggots all over it, that's gross.
-- Okay, that's fine.
That's on the flip side.
-- Right.
-- But when it starts pulling the face off, yeah.
-- Yeah.
-- But it's fast.
And then it flashes and it was obviously, like, a...
The house or the spirits or whatever,
induced a hallucination.
So you can kind of...
-- Obviously, I mean...
-- You can kind of...
-- We all knew that.
-- The house are inducing spirits.
-- But my point is that the fakeness of it could be attributed to that.
Like, it didn't need to look real.
It just needed to be creepy.
-- I just...
I think the cool thing about that I've seen is the chunks in the sink.
Like...
-- Yeah, that's great.
-- He's got the sink around it because he's...
About to throw up because he just split the chicken wing out with the maggots on it.
And then all of a sudden, he's like...
And he looks up and he's pulling.
And obviously he looked down the sink and it's like...
-- Pieces.
-- Like a flash coming down.
-- And bl...
-- Globes of flash.
-- Yes.
-- There's a lot of good goo in this movie.
Like between the echo plasma and...
-- The echo plasma's good, yeah.
-- You know, some of the...
There's good effects.
-- I don't know if that's trademarked.
I don't know if the Ghostbusters have them.
-- No, they didn't have it.
The Ghostbusters one.
-- That wasn't how we got it.
Was it how?
-- I don't think the Ghostbusters...
-- Oh, I don't know.
-- 80...
-- Radis is more or less moist than the Legend.
-- It's just less moist.
Legend was really moist.
-- It's more...
-- The Ghostbusters 84.
-- 84 is like...
-- We'll do that, but it's still rapey.
That was rapey.
-- I mean, I shot myself every time I get the movie, right?
-- It's...
-- I mean, like...
-- I don't know how...
-- It's hard, I mean, 'cause yeah, it's...
80's just run together.
-- So this is before.
So echo plasma, they probably stole my stole.
-- So a lot of weird shit happens.
They can...
-- They can still hear Carol Anne.
-- Yeah.
-- Is it...
-- They don't talk about the light yet, do they?
-- No, 'cause she's not there.
-- 'cause she's not meeting.
-- I can't...
I'm trying to remember, like, the things that happened.
-- They...
-- No, they're there.
-- It's just weird shit.
-- No, they get all...
The one guy freaks out, the guy...
-- Who's Facebook?
-- Facebook.
He freaks out and he's like, "I'm out.
I'm not gonna be here anymore."
So then the head scientist...
or whatever she is...
-- Researcher.
-- Yeah.
-- She's a neuropsychologist.
-- Yeah.
-- She's like, "I'm gonna move back.
I'm leaving though. I'm gonna move back.
I'm gonna...
-- I'm gonna bring a special friend.
-- A special friend.
-- And that's what she brings.
-- Yeah.
So that's when...
Tangina...
It looks like...
It sort of looks like the word vagina.
-- [laughing]
-- Tangina, Tangina.
I don't know how you say it.
-- Tangina.
-- So, um...
So they send the kids away.
I'm just gonna...
I'm just gonna call her vagina.
-- That's when they put Robbie in the dog.
[laughing]
-- In a taxi.
-- The Robbie in the dog in a taxi.
-- We can only hope is a taxi and not, you know,
some pedophile before he had his white van.
Yeah.
And I think that's the worst...
I think that's the worst thing in the whole movie.
Nobody in this state.
They've already lost one child.
-- Yeah.
-- You're not gonna put your other child in a fucking cab.
-- Oh, sure you are.
-- No, you're not.
You're not...
One of them's gonna ride the kid or drive the kid.
-- They mention in passing that he's gonna go stay with his grandma.
But they don't explain why the grandma can't come.
-- They also don't explain where the older sibling goes.
-- No, they did.
-- The older siblings, that was a boyfriend.
-- They said she was staying with friends.
-- Yeah, I mean, that's me.
-- They said that specifically in the movie.
-- That makes the boy friend.
-- But the younger...
-- So, um...
-- There's no way.
I'm sorry.
-- So they send the kids away.
-- Okay, let's...
Let's hypothetical this out.
You wouldn't get sucked into the void.
-- Okay.
-- I'm sorry.
-- But he gets sucked into the void.
Are you going to send number two in a cab to Grandma Grandpa's?
-- No, one of you's gonna drive in there.
-- Would you really leave your spouse behind in a house like that?
-- No, seriously, during the day?
Actually, what I would do is I'd be like, we're all leaving the fucking house for a bit.
-- That's what I'm saying.
Like, you're the...
-- Well, I mean, I don't know.
Because the one kid is in there.
-- Okay, can we just say, it's a weird scene.
Why didn't the Grandma get him?
But at least they're sending the kid off.
-- I'm gonna hear that conversation.
-- Yeah.
-- Mom, can you come get him?
-- What do you mean you can't come get him?
You're gonna call him a cab?
-- You're retired.
No, just put him in a cab and bring him to the airport.
A cab?
Or you should...
Listen, did you hear what I said?
-- Caroline is in the fucking house.
-- Stop eating a TV. Have you heard what I said?
-- Caroline was eaten by the house.
Please come get Robbie before he gets eaten.
-- Right, please.
No, I know you have Pilates and all that shit.
But come on.
Seriously?
Okay, you're getting hair done.
I got you.
Okay.
What about Thursday?
Give you a third.
Okay.
Fine.
Fuck it.
I'll put him in a cab.
Goddamn it.
Boom.
-- So anyway, so they send the kids off and then Dr. Lesh and Ryan come back with vagina.
The spirits are medium.
She states that the ghosts inhabiting the house are lingering in a different,
quote, "sphere of consciousness," unquote, and are not at rest.
Attracted to Carol Anne's life force, these spirits are distracted from the real,
quote unquote, "light" that has come for them.
Vagina then adds that there is also a dark presence she refers to as, quote unquote,
child.
We're really going to call her vagina.
I don't know how to say her name.
I'm going to need you to rewind.
Does anyone say her name in the movie?
I don't think they ever say her name.
If they do, if they do, it's like when she first shows up and they never say it again.
So she also says, she also says that there's --
I'm not calling them Johnny, isn't it?
She also says there's a dark presence that she refers to as, quote, "the beast,"
who has Carol Anne under restraint in an effort to use her life force to
prevent other spirits from crossing over.
So we were supposed to get all of this from the movie?
She says all that, specifically.
Okay.
She, like, has a two-minute speech where she highlights all of that.
Okay.
Yeah, I know it.
No.
Sorry.
I mean, they can't really explain it without her explaining it.
Right.
That's part of her purpose in the movie is to say, like, I know what's going on.
Yeah.
Here's what's going on.
Okay.
And I'm a giant.
Just look at me.
The Assemble group discovers that the entrance to the other dimension is through
the children's bedroom closet, which is where Carol Anne was sucked in.
While the exit is through the living room ceiling where --
Where they --
Cool shit happens, so we'll get to that.
Right, where they fall out, yeah.
As a group attempts to rescue Carol Anne --
So wait.
So is the --
Never mind.
I'm not going to get there.
So no, she explains that, but it's in through the closet out through the family room ceiling.
Well, she says -- I remember her specifically saying in the movie that the kid's room,
the closet is the end.
But I did.
Where's the out?
She will say.
And then Dr. Lesh points to the ceiling because --
Can this roll the shit?
Remember the chicken thing?
They had seen shit come out of that.
They all shoot the --
Yeah, like all the watches.
Yeah, there's a scene.
One of the more benign scenes where like a bunch of jewelry drops --
Yeah, like I'm not --
I'm not arguing.
I would just --
As the group --
Okay, so then they don't say this in here, but then one of the scenes that I remember as a kid is they take the tennis balls
and they put them on a suit.
And they toss the tennis balls through and they have --
Yeah, the guy Ryan's down there and he catches them.
And they've got like --
It's my writing!
Yeah.
It's not like --
It's not even goo.
It's like flaky.
Like, can we just -- No, can we like paper mache?
No, like, can we stop for a minute?
Those tennis balls coming out with like the jello stuff on them was really disturbing as a kid.
I thought it was pretty weird.
It's memorable.
And watching it just --
Like, it was still just like --
It's weird.
Yeah, I'll give you that.
Because it's -- I was hungry.
But it's not -- Stop.
It's not --
Come on, man.
I want it weird.
It's just weird.
It was just disturbing.
It was like the tennis balls came out and they had like this gelatinous stuff on them.
I mean, some wine.
Sorry.
All right.
That holds up.
So then, okay, so back to the synopsis here.
The Assemble group discovers that the entrance to the other dimension is through the children's bedroom closet.
While the exit is in the living room ceiling.
As the group attempts to rescue Carol Ann, Diane passes through the entrance tied by a rope that has been threaded through both portals.
Right.
So the rope goes into the closet door --
That's right.
Down to the ceiling.
Diane manages to retrieve Carol Ann.
Yeah.
And they both drop to the floor from the ceiling, unconscious and covered in ectoplasmic residue.
That was a really --
But when they're -- like, at first they're going to throw her in.
The rope not -- they do not tie her in a good way.
They do.
Well, they tie her.
I don't know.
It's like a sheepshank or something.
Little fish.
Whims out of the hole.
[laughter]
Through the cave.
No.
They do cinching.
But then the part where it's like, then the vagina starts talking about like, come to the light and the husband freaks out and tries to pull her back.
And the creepy ass face comes through the closet.
And he lets go of the rope.
But she promised.
Yeah, he drops it.
He doesn't drop it.
He holds on.
He's screaming.
He doesn't drop it.
He drops it.
You said he did.
He does not.
I saw him drop it.
I think you're wrong.
I know I'm right.
We do.
Clearly.
Regardless.
A creepy ass skull face comes out and then.
She falls.
Yes.
She falls.
Diane and Carol Ann drop through the floor.
Oh, he does drop it.
That's why she falls.
And then they put her in the bathtub, which they had a child birth.
They had a bathtub.
But they do preface that earlier.
They're like the tub's ready.
They say that.
Why?
Because I don't know why, but they said they do.
They knew they were going to be dirty.
I don't know why.
The tub.
I don't know.
They knew they needed that.
But Jaina knew.
But Jaina always knows.
So then as they recover, the Jaina proclaims in one of the.
Maybe maybe the third most popular quote from this movie.
This house is clean.
Everything's done.
That's it.
Everything's great.
Until it all goes to shit again.
So they make a bunch of more bad parenting decisions.
So in a good parenting decision, the next day they're packing up.
The next day.
No, they are getting a hell out of there.
No, good parenting decision.
You are out that we're like, they're leaving like, hey, the house is clean.
That's great.
We're out of here.
We're all out of here.
We're leaving that night.
All right, Brad.
I swear to God, I'm going to show up and be like, do something weird in your house and see if you grab your kids and one.
Okay.
You would just say like the first thing that happened that was weird.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm out.
I'm saying yes.
I pulled my daughter out of a strange.
Yeah, this is beyond.
To the living room.
My wife came through that.
And I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, we're leaving that night in your room.
I'm with you.
I'd be like, I think I beat the hotel that night, which apparently they talk about sleeping at the hotel that night.
But then the kids go to bed in the house.
That's right.
That is not that not because they're packing up.
That's the fucked up thing.
They have like a.
No, no, no, no, no.
The next you see them the next day.
They're outside.
Well, okay, make the assumptions.
No, they have moving boxes to the living truck at the next day.
You're not gonna.
I'm saying, I wouldn't even be back.
But, but I'd be like, hey, no, I understand that.
But even that, even that, the timing of this is weird.
You see them outside during the day, whether it's the next day or not, doesn't matter.
They're packing up the mom and the oldest all their talk and they talk about how they're going to stay at the holiday and that night.
Yeah, then you see the kids go to bed in the room where all the shit went down, even though most of the stuff is back up.
Yeah.
Everything is packed up except the doll.
And then Craig T. Nelson as a bad parent.
I gotta go to work.
Well, I agree.
If my wife comes through a portal in the ceiling, I'm in a hotel an hour later and I'm calling people and saying, hey.
And I'm calling work.
I'm like, I'm like.
Not even calling work.
I'm calling a company that's like, how much will it cost for you to go into my house and pack up all my stuff and bring it to me?
No, I don't even know if I want that stuff because that's why the fucking demons and spirits all are on it.
They all know that you're going to want your present.
I fucked that.
I'm fine.
No.
Okay.
I don't want anything.
Okay.
I don't want anything.
If you can pay somebody to go in and pack up your clothes.
You don't know they're not coming with you in this world, in this world, in this reality.
Do you know if they're coming with you or not?
I guess you don't.
So at that point, I'm starting over at that point.
I'm starting over.
It is a clean slate.
I got my daughter out of the fucking ceiling in the goo.
I'm out.
We're done.
Okay.
I'm coming back to real life.
If somebody.
Real life.
We're talking about this.
Yeah.
I don't see as the thing is like we can we can hypothesize all day.
I'm saying who knows what we would do in this movie.
If you're in life and your fellow ceiling in ectoplasm goo, you'd be like, I'm sorry.
I'd be like, we're in the car.
We're driving like a thousand miles.
I'm not.
I'm a, I don't give a shit.
I mean, I don't care.
I guess you start over and then you sue your.
Right now.
Get some right.
I'm out right now.
Brock and I take the kids and we leave and a chair slides across your.
We've been through this.
I'm just saying I don't think that Brad would just be like, it run.
You can say that.
He's not saying that.
Okay.
We'll never know.
It's not going to happen.
Okay.
So anyway,
just talking about that.
You're right.
All right.
So anyway, back shortly thereafter.
The house is the house is clean.
Yeah.
The house is clean.
But as anybody who's seen this movie knows the house is not clean.
Yeah, shortly thereafter, the free links begin the process of moving elsewhere by packing up their belongings.
That during their last night in the house, Steve leaves for the office.
Nor to quit his job.
Dana goes on a date.
To quit his job.
I let the door go on a date.
This is such what the fuck.
Yeah.
It's like, well, the house is clean.
Everything's fine.
I mean, honestly God, Brad.
It's so bad.
The minute something.
I mean,
I mean, I think I recall as a kid watching this movie and being like, why are they still in the house?
Why are they still in the house?
Why are the kids back in that room?
Yeah.
And they're like in the same bed.
Why aren't they in the bed with the mom?
Yeah.
The weird thing is they are back doing her hair.
Well, she's headed to Grey Street.
But wait till you get out of the house there.
What's just for men?
Just for men equivalent for women?
Oh, um.
Carol.
She's doing like.
Yeah.
She's doing Clara to get the gray out.
But no, the weird part is like their beds were destroyed.
Right?
No, they were just like pushed up against the wall.
Remember, they pulled them down when they go looking for killing.
Oh, no.
They won't put the room in the beds.
They're like spinning around.
Oh, the beds are spinning, but they're not like flying through.
Oh, they're fine.
They're all good.
They're just spinning in the stars.
All right.
My fault.
They put a lot of faith into Virginia saying that the house was clean.
Virginia.
Never put a lot of faith in vagina.
I put a lot of faith in vagina.
I'm in with you.
Like it doesn't take a lot for me to be like, nope, my kids are out.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm not arguing.
That would be an idea.
And this next line is right.
And it, it even, it reads even weirder.
You know, so you think like, no, no, no.
So you got the two kids at home in the room going to sleep, even though they're going
to stay at the hotel that night in the room where the shit went bad.
The mom does her hair and then she lays down her bed.
The eldest is on a date.
And the dad is back at the office.
Why would she be away from the family?
According to this, the dad is back at the office to quit his job.
Yeah, you do that over the phone.
Yeah.
I quit.
Right.
I quit.
You fucking kidding.
I would not be leaving getting money on my kids get out of my site for at least a few
months.
I mean, I would be paranoid.
It's a little different.
Yeah.
I know.
It is, it is, it is dads.
Yeah.
They were a bit more hands off.
So much.
The job is so fucking like important.
Yeah.
All right.
So they're not real dads.
The beast then ambushes Diane and the children, aiming for a second kidnapping by attempting
to restrain Robbie and Diane.
What?
The beast?
Yeah.
That's what they call it.
I think it's that dog thing that shows up outside the door.
All right.
I don't know.
That's what they call it.
Robbie is attacked by a clown doll in his bedroom, quite possibly the scariest scene in
the movie.
And it's still scary.
When he, you know, first of all, he pulls up the bottom of the bed.
Nothing's there.
He sits up.
I really don't know.
I think he's fine.
There's the clown.
Yeah.
When he pulls the bottom up, there's nothing there.
And then it's an edge.
Yeah.
It's scary.
It doesn't have to be a clown.
It can be anything.
It's a good.
It's still scary.
It's a good joke.
It should go back to the whole.
Yeah.
It'll hold on.
Back to the beginning.
Hold on.
In the beginning of the movie, he's sitting in his bed and they have that fucking clown.
Oh, the clown is terrifying at the beginning.
Yeah.
Terrifying in the beginning.
And his parents have a city in like, in like some sort of barca lounge or looking at his
bed.
Like, I'm going to eat you.
I'm going to watch you sleep.
It's the total Bart Simpson.
I mean, that's where they got it from, but yeah, I mean, that is crazy.
But they make up for it by a shit ton of cool Star Wars stuff, Star Wars stuff spread around
the room.
Okay, but here's my problem.
And the end.
There's a lot of good play back.
I mean, no, it is some sweet ass Star Wars.
He has, he has a great room, but at the end, the clown is not in that barca lounge or
not there.
It's in a chair.
It is a chair from like the kitchen.
They have like a kitchen chair.
It's sitting in.
It's like, they're bad parents.
They are such bad.
That's what I'm saying.
They're such big.
Take the haunted chairs.
Yes.
Put the creepy doll on them.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
You're going to sleep in the haunted room.
Rob, Rob, we know you love having scariest clown look at you when you sleep.
So I brought the kitchen chair up so you can have a scariest clown look at you.
Yeah.
And not only that, but right behind scary ass clown is the closet.
It's a claw.
It's the vortex.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
So you're cool.
Yeah.
So and it's bad fucking parents.
Yeah.
It's that that part.
I mean, they don't get until the end.
At the end, at least one thing, right?
Yeah.
So then Robbie's attacked by the clown doll and Diana's attacked by an unseen force.
Dude, Robbie, Robbie, the best is so.
Well, he attacks back.
Robbie fights back.
I don't remember that.
I thought he got really fucked up.
I thought the clown, I thought somebody else had to help him, but he.
Robbie, he fucked up.
I think you were getting the clown in the tree confused.
Which is understandable.
I can't believe how quickly the tree attacked.
In the timeline of the movie, that shocked me.
I honestly don't remember Robbie fighting the clown.
It was hard.
I honestly don't remember Robbie fighting the clown.
And ripping the stuff.
He really.
He shit.
For me, they should have been already.
They should have been cursed.
Fuck you.
Motherfucking clown.
I just fucking.
Fuck you.
I really don't remember him.
We'll redub that scene where you can be Robbie.
I really don't remember him fighting that well against the clown.
I don't either.
And with the tree.
I thought it.
Let's go back.
Actually, we should go back to the tree.
But I thought the clown scene lasted much longer, but it's really fast.
It's pretty quick.
Yeah.
And again, I think that has to do with like being a kid and how terrible.
It was terrifying way for it to happen.
I think that's probably what it was.
It was waiting for it to happen because he looks over and it's not there.
Yeah.
And I remember like.
You hear it.
You hear like the jingle.
The three of us were sitting there and it was like the thump and like the jingle jingle.
And I was sitting between the two of you.
I was still scared.
See, that is what makes it.
I was still.
That is what makes it a good movie is it's not over the top.
It's not like you see the, you know, Robbie's facing the camera and you see like the CGI clown doll get down.
That's what you'd see now.
The subtleness of it.
That's the whole thing.
Like does it hold up a lot of the other things.
Yes.
That's the worst.
That scene with the clown doll totally holds up.
The whole will get to that.
The whole scene where he leans over and looks underneath the covers underneath the bed and it's not there.
And then he, and this sits up and then it's there and it wraps this.
That is the best.
Yeah.
That is the best.
It's still terrifying.
Yeah.
I mean, but I know it's come, but it's good.
So yeah, and Diana's attacked by unseen force and moves her up the wall and over the center room.
It had to be a little rotating.
That's a good point.
It was a rotating set.
I'm sure.
They always did it.
But I'd like to know.
It's an old trick from like the 30s.
I mean, they've been doing that.
Dancing on the ceiling.
With Billy Ocean.
Not quite, but.
She was good.
The unseen force.
She's.
64.
5.
The unseen force drives Diane to the backyard dragging her into the swimming pool.
Mm.
Skeleton surround her as she tries to.
That's so what happens.
She doesn't get dragged into the swimming pool.
She falls into the swimming pool.
You wait to just read it again.
It says dragging her into.
I am just reading what it says.
I know.
I'm saying that's wrong.
I think you could make the argument that it doesn't drag her in, but almost like gets her to the edge and then re-nuges her.
Yeah.
We're like it.
Skeleton surround her.
She tries to escape, but she manages to climb out of the pool and make a way into the back.
And then the neighbor shows up and is like what's going on?
Yeah, the neighbor shows up.
Fuck him.
Yeah.
Fuck him.
I mean he helps her get out of the pool, but then he's useless.
That's a useless thing.
Yeah.
Like the fucking dick neighbor.
In his defense.
Don't go in.
You don't know what's going on in the house.
There are caskets popping out of the ground and your neighbor is screaming your head off about.
You go like hey listen, I don't know if I'd go over the yard and help at that point.
If they're caskets popping, I'm like oh fuck.
See, I disagree.
I feel like if.
I've been saying.
Shift's popping up.
Let's band together.
What's going on?
Let's take care of this.
My point is if I'm going to go over there and help her out of the pool, I'm going into
the fucking house with her.
Like what I'm saying is like I'm not going to half ass it like but I could see myself
being like, huh.
They're caskets popping out of their neighbor.
Really?
Wait, you're the same guy who says it's a beer bottle slice across the bar.
You're out.
I don't want a neighbor.
I'm the exact opposite.
I'm like a beer bottle no big deal.
My neighbor needs help.
Screw that.
No, I would do the neighbor but I'd be like let's get everybody and get the fuck out.
We're done.
I'm like and they'd be like no you're not fucking rolling.
I'd be like I'm out of here too.
I'm moving.
My neighbor the casket's popping up next year.
We're like ah kids we gotta move.
And I would say the scene with the pool is pretty cool.
So I feel like I feel like everybody who's listening.
Who to band with when the zombie apocalypse happens?
Right here.
No because the zombie apocalypse is everywhere.
We're talking about an isolated person in the house.
So she rescues the children and they eventually escape to the outside only to discover coffins
and rotting corpses erupting out of the ground in their yard and throughout the neighborhood.
As Steven Diane return home from the mayhem Steve confronts.
Sorry as Steve and Dana return home from return home to the mayhem Steve confronts his boss
after realizing that rather than relocating the cemetery for the development.
They merely had the headstones moved and the bodies were left behind.
Which that's like the point where you realize what's happening because when they're up on the hill.
They're talking about they're talking about moving a cemetery and he's like we did it back there in 76.
But you don't quite make the connection at that point.
While we were watching the movie.
I honestly in my head thought oh they didn't move like American graves or whatever.
The boss even says that.
He's like this is not sacred ground.
Sacred travel grounds.
He's like these are just people.
Which is kind of a nice getting away from the typical ancient Indian burial ground.
I knew there was that little spin on it but yeah.
Which was actually a nice thing where they're not like we're just going to use Brown people's religion to make things crazy.
So I like that.
The fact that there was that one and they had already moved another one and that neighborhood was big.
So there were a lot of dead people.
Very nice people on the nice hill.
Yeah, but I mean I get it.
You already you're already okay with the fucking chair moving all that.
Yeah, that's totally cool but the greater it is.
The graveyard location doesn't make sense.
That's bullshit.
I'm channeling our father who would watch Independence Day and talk about like a plane.
While he was being chased by UFO, you know, never mind the UFO but you know he couldn't turn like that.
It doesn't bank that way.
Anyway, we could do in the past.
The freelings leave the neighborhood while the house implodes into the portal to the astonishment of onlookers.
The family checks into a hotel for the night.
Now here's my question for you.
Steve rolls the television outside into the walkway.
That's the best.
Now here's your question.
You're the neighbor.
I think I said this.
We're watching it.
You're the neighbor.
The house goes up.
What do you do then?
Free pull.
Wait.
You.
I'm sorry.
I'm on my same page.
I'm the fuck down there.
I'm gone.
I think instead of just seeing the freelings at the Holiday Inn.
You should have seen everybody from the neighborhood at the Holiday Inn.
I don't, listen, if I heard the house in the other, like, all the way to the other side of the neighborhood implode it on itself and disappear.
It'd be like, on the face.
And caskets are popping out of the air.
I'd be like, and we're out.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to go.
Yeah.
I'll be back in the morning.
No.
All right.
Gentlemen.
Can I rewind us?
Does poltergeist hold up?
Okay.
Do we want to talk more about some of the other scenes first?
Okay.
Yeah.
I did.
I said do we.
It was a question.
I liked it.
What's, what's the comment?
Oh, yeah.
I feel late.
We are an hour and 10 minutes in.
All right.
I feel like we should wrap it up.
My head hurts.
Thank you.
Okay.
So I really, I really, sorry.
I liked it.
I thought it held up well.
It's, it's an 80s movie.
It's got its little quirks to it.
But I think in general, I was entertained.
I was a fan of the movie.
- All right.